Episode 17: Ghost Hunters/Transcript

00:00
 * there's no place to escape this is the

00:03
 * law started by our that is sing about an

00:25
 * ammonite name alright well that's the

00:27
 * most horrific thing this podcast has

00:29
 * ever been a part of welcome to last

00:31
 * podcast on the left with Marcus Parks

00:33
 * I'm Ben Kissel with us as always the

00:35
 * scientist the mastermind who is that

00:37
 * beast creature of reynold wacky

00:40
 * Templeton yeah Kimmel one-liners you

00:43
 * faggot

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 * well he's obviously an old-time he's

00:46
 * sold from the past absolutely my name is

00:49
 * Henry Zebrowski in case you forget it

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 * just write it down Henry Zebrowski Zeb

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 * our OS wrong w you're wrong hey K zip

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 * rouse ki Zebrowski sounds complicated

01:01
 * because it's polish but it is not

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 * remotely complicated and you have a

01:05
 * problem ironically it's complicated if

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 * you're polish all right today we're

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 * talking about it well my grandfather did

01:12
 * lose the recipe for making ice sigh

01:16
 * seriously I got you I make this ice but

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 * all I got is this I water I just keep

01:24
 * trying to kill myself but I don't have

01:25
 * enough money for bullets well hey give

01:27
 * it a shot yeah I would say go with a

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 * hanging either way you do it you can

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 * always come back as a ghost here's

01:34
 * gravity it's got the bullet that's a

01:36
 * good point as a matter of fact grab with

01:38
 * God Lourdes

01:39
 * what's the Lord's us you know screaming

01:42
 * a locomotive it's you it's a snake

01:44
 * when you jump right out of those towers

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 * makes are scary just like a train these

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 * are the things I think about every

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 * single day ladies and gentlemen

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 * I'm gonna tell you that is the mind of

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 * an actor right there holy Lord

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 * oh do I have to turn this AC off I

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 * believe you'd is it coming in can you

02:02
 * hear that eh so today everybody's

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 * actually I've been what am I getting is

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 * that's not yeah okay Danis don't come in

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 * ah ladies and gentlemen we've just been

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 * haunted and that's what we're talking

02:13
 * about today and how Henry came over to

02:16
 * WoW the place of my employment today

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 * what a nice little place to be there

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 * with Ben and his dogs and Ben just had

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 * such a sweet smile on his face

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 * those dogs old and mean they're sweet

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 * wonderful puppies and I loved every inch

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 * of them which is only about 7 inches

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 * they're very tiny small dogs

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 * God knows they're about the size of a

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 * Polish man's wonderful wonderful face so

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 * we have a sure yes the Lincoln polish

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 * buddy that's fine oh absolutely I get it

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 * yeah sure why why is the length it

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 * doesn't yeah I get actually in fact been

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 * me and you one day took one of these

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 * dogs into the Halloween store to shop

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 * for ghoulish things that's right that's

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 * exactly what we did and I love doing it

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 * with you I love doing it with you and we

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 * had a great time we did uh so yes so

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 * Henry came over and we got to watch the

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 * cable and we were discussing what these

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 * shows were all these ghost hunter shows

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 * so we decided to give a look-see to a

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 * few of them

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 * we watched yeah we watched a couple of

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 * ghost lab we watched Ghost Adventures in

03:14
 * watch Paranormal State and they're the

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 * top five ghost hunting shows are those

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 * are in the top three and then there's

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 * most haunted which is pretty fun and

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 * ghost hunters and I will say ghost lab

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 * this is fascinating this is a bunch of I

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 * don't know where they're from but

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 * they're all fat yeah they're hairy men

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 * they're all fat and there's a there's a

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 * bus that sits outside which I get in the

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 * lab dumbest fucking convention for a

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 * show they show up in an 18-wheeler lab

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 * they go when they yell at the ghosts in

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 * your house and then talk about science

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 * like oh but we're using science we're

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 * using science gg's there it's it's

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 * nice-looking nonsense they look like

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 * they went to a mail-order school for

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 * whatever is they're doing first on cuz

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 * you got to know something about science

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 * you gotta know something out physics

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 * you're just doing like parlor tricks and

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 * just yelling at ghosts this is the thing

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 * that annoyed me about the program others

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 * are worse than others but the ghost lab

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 * I feel like they're the Dickie Dickie

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 * estudia ghosts they went to a family's

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 * house and 4 to the 5 in this family had

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 * shot themselves in the face why and then

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 * one and it was all predicated upon one

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 * of the younger sons um just dying right

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 * he just died yeah and so he decided what

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 * sickness no stamp sickness on him when

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 * he showed the fig tree he died it dies

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 * on the show he doubted the consumption

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 * yes the group yes yeah you never know

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 * it's scavengers love that old disease

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 * had people used to have you get a bad

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 * buy yeah absolutely scarlet fever it's

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 * cause from the dust of opening up old

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 * unused coffins or looking for old books

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 * yeah if there was very similar but the

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 * two of the poor victims of 9/11 are

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 * going through right now yes God knows

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 * that jesus fucking christ god bless them

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 * i think we had it we had the moment

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 * speaking of hard to get a haunted

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 * grounds i don't know if they should be

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 * building that new world trade so why

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 * don't we offer the old osa bankers

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 * everywhere buys how do you have the

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 * report from last corner beside my bow

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 * Greg but I'm gonna put in your inbox I

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 * mean it might work out perfectly you

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 * come into your office all the documents

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 * are stamped a janitor comes in the

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 * floors are already mopped and perfectly

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 * clean absolutely haunting well I can't

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 * wait is for the old businessmen who died

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 * there naturally their ghosts in mix with

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 * the new ones that died there horribly we

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 * got a guys with big cellphone ghosts and

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 * then you've got a bunch of people with

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 * like monitoring phones yeah like

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 * everybody wants to rule though letting

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 * you guys you listen to fucking

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 * Nickelback it's gonna be a whole mix

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 * them up yeah that's right but ghosts mix

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 * them up they're all going to get

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 * together over Dennis Miller's Weekend

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 * Update because that was the beautiful

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 * leading but nonetheless this what I was

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 * thinking too all these ghosts they say

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 * that suicides and early deaths like a

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 * murder situation give you a meek you a

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 * ghost and I was thinking maybe you're

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 * just a ghost on earth until you're

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 * naturally supposed to die so if you get

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 * shot or if you kill yourself you might

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 * have 40 years to be a ghost might have

06:21 30 years to be a ghost maybe until your 06:23
 * spirits interesting to be going onto the

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 * other side you have to stay here as a

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 * you know a shitty penance or you know

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 * you get to move why

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 * glasses which is all these ghosts seem

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 * to do dance and that was in good

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 * Paranormal State we'll get to how

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 * fucking stupid Santa can we get plastic

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 * with ghost lab for a second douchiest of

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 * all of them ghost lab is just they have

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 * a lot of graphics they have a lot of

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 * like lots of them like it's um-- ghost

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 * facts yeah i mean so like you go slam

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 * with you and then it just like shows lab

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 * results like zoom sees you mean you're

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 * like like they look like metal rods it's

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 * so fucking stupid but the thing is the

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 * one thing so they're the one thing that

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 * employees of this hotel that's now a

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 * hotel used to be a family home they all

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 * keep saying that they all seen this good

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 * this dog ghost i want our sons one of

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 * the sons shot the dog and then shot

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 * himself one of the people come in to

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 * suicide there and so the key everyone

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 * you're like and then sometimes it not

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 * you can feel the dog just brushing up

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 * against your leg so just look at here

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 * barking so but they yeah they mike the

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 * whole thing for sound and it's just like

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 * one of those were they like you're

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 * noting things like hey man you hear that

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 * hear that are her look kill you yeah

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 * he's like no man no he's like you didn't

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 * hear that you didn't hear the d yeah

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 * yeah yeah like no i didn't know i didn't

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 * hear that we better check the tape it

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 * seems to geez this is a soundscape go

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 * soundscape and then it cuts to like the

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 * the fucking sound effect thing and then

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 * it's just like dare it is right there

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 * near it is you hear it you're the dog

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 * walker the dog bark was real the dog

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 * bark voice that they heard was real but

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 * they failed to mention the hotel is next

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 * to a highway that has a large side it

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 * was a living dog dog depart outside and

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 * so images the dog in the lab in the in

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 * the in this ghost lab of theirs AKA my

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 * trailer where they probably all live

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 * drama look like a set it's not even it's

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 * not a lab labs are not put in the back

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 * obviously doesn't have wet labs are put

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 * in the back of trucks yes it obviously

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 * doesn't have like one like entire wall

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 * that's how they film it's very pathetic

08:38
 * so they'll bill here like uh like they

08:41
 * were they were doing this thing with the

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 * wine glasses evidently ghosts love to

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 * just

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 * to shake my eyes to the smalls that's

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 * later on that's the other show no sperm

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 * okay know that this happened the same

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 * thing and so the ghost the the thing

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 * like rattles a little bit and they're

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 * like did you hear that yeah that's right

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 * that's right the decorations they who do

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 * the vibrations of the glass and the

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 * chick the chick comes through like it's

09:01
 * some stupid Lethal Weapon film and she

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 * says uh yeah just a large semi truck

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 * just drove by so it's like a semi truck

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 * that drove by it's like it doesn't make

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 * any sense whatsoever and it's so

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 * upsetting to actual like ghosts it's

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 * just these fatties walk around the house

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 * going like oh so you killed yourself

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 * ghosts look what you show me show me

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 * that you're realized you killed your dog

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 * you think you're so big you think you're

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 * so tough and it's like man and they're

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 * literally trying to break these ghosts

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 * like a bully tries to break in eighth

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 * grade and it pops up the image of the

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 * bottom all the text shoots it it's like

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 * provocation tests and he's just like

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 * we're like giving a ghost face and make

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 * that ghost stand up like a man and show

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 * us if he exists and we're just I was

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 * like I fucking swear fuse to believe

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 * that a ghost is affected by pride number

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 * one you're gonna bully a ghost to do

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 * anything the idea bullying ago just

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 * shows you the depth of their minds their

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 * how do you get a reaction out of

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 * somebody call me yeah give me a cheese

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 * honey it's like I have I will get you

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 * cheese darling oh yeah oh so sounds like

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 * to me I don't know about you Dave of

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 * ghost labs how you feeling but it feels

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 * like this goes here you some kind of

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 * pussy I was gonna say faggot but you

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 * went pussy yeah man you're right I was

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 * wrong

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 * he is a faggy pussy Fagin why are you

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 * still on it goes

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 * come on you fucking fag ghost this is

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 * what you want play football you want

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 * football with some bad game at home

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 * throwing the football at the wall really

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 * catch it give it all can't you be a man

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 * it's you an aunt ghost I just don't

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 * understand how this exists and these

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 * assholes and they make day how much

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 * money do they make per episode now and

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 * also where are your credentials how

10:45
 * would they ever pass were they wedding

10:47
 * busted ghosts have they ever stopped a

10:49
 * ghost if they ever proved that ghost

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 * exists in their traveling go slap

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 * once not yet not yet but they will

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 * absolutely it will be paying them to

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 * bring them back peeking of people who

11:01
 * pretend as if they've actually seen a

11:02
 * ghost which I think this might be true

11:04
 * this guy's this is me the douchiest in

11:06
 * our opinion this one's called Ghost

11:08
 * Adventures

11:09
 * this guy is just like no I didn't

11:12
 * believe I grew up not believing in

11:14
 * ghosts until one day I saw a ghost

11:17
 * yeah now I go on Ghost Adventures to

11:21
 * recreate what I saw and it's like if

11:23
 * Yahoo grows up not believing in ghosts

11:25
 * yeah it's still fucking Stooges stew but

11:28
 * I will say this the irony of it all is

11:30
 * if he did not believe in ghosts that's

11:31
 * why the ghost showed himself because the

11:34
 * ghost was just like oh there's a prime

11:35
 * victim it's like women who were out

11:36
 * there clutching their purses with a

11:38
 * shank in their hands they're ready to

11:40
 * not to get raped yeah you know they're

11:41
 * prepared not to get scared by a governor

11:43
 * chick deadly diddlin out there in

11:45
 * Williamsburg with a low-cut dress on be

11:47
 * like everything safe here in Brooklyn

11:48
 * what else are victims well she's you

11:50
 * wearing she's wearing a low-cut blouse

11:52
 * yeah in a nice located shirt you've got

11:54
 * the you get the UH like what do you call

11:56
 * those nice horses yeah they're fake

11:58
 * they're fake glasses yeah I'm sure glad

12:00
 * how tight is distress yeah it's well

12:03
 * it's not that tight because would you

12:04
 * believe that the bloomie is kind of

12:05
 * coming back oh really

12:06
 * yeah it also makes it for easier access

12:08
 * your legs like yeah they're long white

12:11
 * very skinny on your skin you can see

12:13
 * enjoyment are they milky uh-huh very

12:16
 * milky very pathetically milky fresh out

12:18
 * of fresh at a theater school got good

12:20
 * feet like will her feet open-toed shoes

12:22
 * her toes are fine well done uh-huh

12:25
 * uh-huh what about the hair what's her

12:27
 * hair the hair is a little bit shorter

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 * it's a little bit cutting a bob and

12:30
 * she's got a bandana on yeah yeah no see

12:34
 * your belly button yeah I can see her

12:36
 * belly button

12:37
 * yeah it's got a little butterfly tattoo

12:38
 * next to it not here's because that is

12:41
 * officially out mm-hmm nonetheless that

12:43
 * woman see what it's just unto you that's

12:46
 * going to lead to a haunting so Zak is

12:49
 * like I'm out there and I'm like I don't

12:50
 * believe in him and now so he should they

12:53
 * should go into these places and pretend

12:55
 * like they don't exist yeah because they

12:57
 * actually went into a place called

12:58
 * Bobby's Bobby Bobby Mackey's Bobby

13:01
 * Mackey's yeah Bobby it was his old

13:03
 * country singer mm-hm and he ran this

13:05
 * place and I will say this it was a muddy

13:07
 * coated environment I've ever seen one of

13:09
 * these Shoshana yeah that's what they

13:10
 * said it was pretty it seemed like it was

13:12
 * pretty alike as they were sitting there

13:14
 * there was an interviewing an old man and

13:16
 * that's a part of it too is like they're

13:17
 * all so old drunk country musicians

13:19
 * they're all just like they're sitting

13:20
 * there talking he's like we're waiting

13:22
 * we're saying looking silhouette of a

13:25
 * Mayan just walked across the back room

13:28
 * and he goes adventurer guys like oh my

13:29
 * god we've got a ghost in the gut in

13:31
 * premises I've got to see for myself get

13:36
 * the therm owned get the thermogram and

13:38
 * the progressed like pans around they're

13:40
 * like oh my god it's burning up and it's

13:41
 * just his hair because it's all gelled up

13:44
 * gel to animate miss if one of those

13:46
 * light bulbs pop and there's a spark in

13:48
 * the room he's gonna look like Michael

13:49
 * Jackson shooting a Pepsi commercial

13:51
 * the difference between that what that

13:53
 * show is is that they don't have a camera

13:57
 * crew let's do like we know the camera

13:58
 * crews each one of them has its know each

14:00
 * one of them has a camcorder and they

14:02
 * stay in the place overnight and they

14:04
 * recorded but that also went into in the

14:06
 * end of them just being like come out

14:08
 * ghost and she's like always the guys

14:10
 * like wait a second let me handle this

14:12
 * well evidently is in their friend ghost

14:14
 * I know that you feel that you're human

14:16
 * but I have to release you you aren't

14:19
 * alive anymore ghost you're but you don't

14:22
 * have a body you can be released from

14:24
 * this way and they're all like said

14:25
 * everyone's like talking it's like well I

14:27
 * can't believe he's talking to the ghost

14:28
 * that dudes fucking crazy he's just

14:29
 * talking to a ghost and it's like he's

14:31
 * fucking Stu it's not real it's not real

14:34
 * real and it's like this this show is

14:36
 * apparently known as the angry ghost

14:37
 * hunting show the guy wears all black and

14:39
 * and that the person that interviewed the

14:42
 * main haunty of this situation other than

14:44
 * Bobby the fellow who owns the place his

14:47
 * wife was that really pushed down the

14:48
 * stairs by a ghost that

14:50
 * like this fellow who killed a woman in

14:51
 * there yeah and this is a thing the story

14:53
 * is these two hooligans killed a woman

14:55
 * took her head off her body walked into

14:59
 * the place dumped her head into a well

15:01
 * that that is on the premise a drain off

15:05
 * ditch for the slaughterhouse okay there

15:08
 * was water houses so that was actually

15:10
 * what's really cool about the place is

15:11
 * that so visit this part so this murder

15:14
 * is real the murder is real the murders

15:15
 * real they say it's all it just you know

15:18
 * with just a classic again it your you

15:20
 * know in terms of flaws of a ghost

15:22
 * hunting show well I do think the the the

15:26
 * the initial interview with the one guy

15:28
 * who at ha it was haunted the most he

15:30
 * lived apparently he lived in the

15:31
 * apartment above the bar for six years so

15:34
 * you know he's not doing well and

15:36
 * drinking moonshine every night Oh

15:37
 * evidently it got to the point where they

15:40
 * called an exorcist and he woke up after

15:43
 * a six hour eight hour exorcism choking

15:45
 * the priest who's like Irish don't

15:47
 * remember nothing and it's like you were

15:48
 * just Lulu how do you mind yeah he was

15:51
 * absolutely I mean have you guys ever

15:52
 * tried have you guys ever drank moonshine

15:54
 * well I mean like I mean I'm talking like

15:57
 * actual I'm talking actual country-ass

16:00
 * like corn Distilled moonshine okay it is

16:03
 * the most insane shit you've ever had in

16:06
 * your life this doesn't surprise me at

16:09
 * all but so that was the story of that

16:11
 * guy which it all seems amazingly spooky

16:13
 * in the room don't you think initially

16:14
 * Henry and I repose was like well this is

16:16
 * a pretty damn good scare and it gets

16:19
 * back into the ghost adventure or yelling

16:20
 * at the ghost and be like show yourself

16:23
 * to me and it's like why would the ghost

16:25
 * respect you a ghost is better than you

16:27
 * and it showed itself to you when you

16:29
 * weren't paying any attention to it

16:30
 * chill the fuck out and be nice to the

16:32
 * ghost exactly for a glass of wine for

16:34
 * the damn thing and they said that's what

16:36
 * they said uh um what was that

16:38
 * oh that's paranormal stay we'll get to

16:39
 * that in a second stupid all these ghosts

16:42
 * love the bar for some reason hey look he

16:44
 * always loved B or something like that

16:45
 * that happens here I'm sending so but he

16:47
 * loves beer you know the UH the the thing

16:51
 * about ghosting hunting shows is again

16:55
 * so let's say like the problem of

16:58
 * Schrodinger's cat right and they're

17:00
 * talking about a whatever observed

17:02
 * universe yeah it's a forget

17:06
 * Schrodinger's cat alright so there is a

17:09
 * cat in the box and the cat exists and

17:13
 * doesn't exist all at the same time

17:14
 * because it's if there is a radioactive

17:16
 * isotope in the box yes that will kill

17:19
 * the cat and so it's like inside this box

17:21
 * you look at its box

17:22
 * yeah like there's the cat is both alive

17:24
 * and dead inside this box and you won't

17:26
 * know until you open it up but until it

17:28
 * because it's unobserved any any like any

17:32
 * every outcome as possible yeah because

17:34
 * you're not like choosing something yeah

17:36
 * but if you show you don't observe it

17:38
 * then the cat is both alive and dead all

17:40
 * the same all the same time there is

17:43
 * showing now that reality is different

17:47
 * when you observe it well I mean I -

17:49
 * that's the rule of a of documentaries is

17:52
 * that you automatically change I mean

17:55
 * this is a rule of science actually is

17:57
 * that you change your you know your

18:01
 * subject just by observing just by paying

18:03
 * budget to it yeah so you're putting if

18:06
 * gose exists and they are a psychic

18:08
 * phenomenon and that they are either

18:10
 * intelligent hauntings as they were

18:11
 * saying in ghost lab intelligent

18:13
 * hauntings which involve a ghost being

18:15
 * able to interact with a person who calls

18:16
 * its name like hey touch my titty and the

18:19
 * ghost touches titty and then there's

18:20
 * also unintelligent ghosts which is just

18:22
 * when they pick up something on Ghost

18:24
 * Adventures they picked up a ghost saying

18:26
 * I don't like dogs and I don't like fish

18:28
 * you know I don't like I don't like fish

18:30
 * I like birds

18:30
 * yeah that's what it is oh this is a stew

18:33
 * note better oh you're serious I thought

18:35
 * you were making jokes true Wow

18:37
 * though this was actually ghost lab going

18:38
 * back to that douchey show right there

18:40
 * like oh he's so threw off the case that

18:42
 * they were like bullets on intelligence

18:43
 * so we can't deal with it because they

18:45
 * caught a snippet of conversation which

18:48
 * was a man's voice they showed the

18:50
 * recording of a man's voice going I don't

18:51
 * wanna talk about only fish I mean it's

18:53
 * like if you have to do something into

18:56
 * subtitles and the person is speaking

18:58
 * English either you're filming some mud

19:00
 * people in Pennsylvania or you're making

19:02
 * it up making it up

19:04
 * making it I'm sorry if I see the human

19:07
 * being playing a drum and be like hey

19:08
 * everyone no I don't know and that means

19:10
 * hey I don't go to Walmart I'm like

19:12
 * alright having those release me

19:13
 * yeah just like write that and read that

19:15
 * the thing is is I just refuse to believe

19:19
 * that you will see a ghost if you go

19:22
 * looking for one well this is something

19:24
 * we've talked about many times on the

19:26
 * show yeah is that you know if you go

19:28
 * looking for word goes it's you know it's

19:30
 * like whenever you really like a girl

19:31
 * always but it's like whenever you really

19:34
 * like a girl whenever you really try for

19:36
 * it and you really go for it the girls

19:37
 * never going to go for it

19:39
 * but whatever you don't pay attention to

19:40
 * or whenever you're very nonchalant about

19:42
 * it that's whenever the girl comes same

19:45
 * thing with ghosts it's tough to sit if

19:46
 * you tell the ghost that you love him

19:48
 * like her her on the back of your senior

19:50
 * picture at the end of senior year come

19:52
 * to me it works out it's like um did that

19:55
 * work out for you no it did not in my

19:57
 * situation what are you talking about it

19:58
 * didn't work no she is married in Indiana

20:01
 * she's got a lot of tattoos now though so

20:03
 * vibrant so can't be with a tattooed

20:05
 * broad you can't be no I don't know why I

20:08
 * bother

20:11
 * don't like at things like a turn-on if

20:13
 * you gotta go no tattoos or tattoos I'm

20:15
 * just gonna go no tattoos that's fine

20:16
 * sure yeah no I don't know who cares yeah

20:19
 * the next show we watch was Paranormal

20:21
 * State which is by and by and large the

20:25
 * dumbest one as far as Paranormal State

20:28
 * the one that is actually like they come

20:31
 * from a college yes this is that

20:33
 * paranormal State is the only ghost

20:35
 * hunter show that I've seen okay the this

20:38
 * show are so stupid it I watched one

20:42
 * episode I'm like I'm never watching that

20:44
 * they are 19 years old they are they are

20:47
 * students of a fake science all right

20:51
 * like Northwestern State or something

20:52
 * like the Penn State right like I mean

20:54
 * it's an accredited university yes did

20:56
 * you know ego's Penn State this is the

20:58
 * exact same thing as majoring in theater

21:00
 * it's what is your normal activities

21:03
 * studies it's like what job are you gonna

21:04
 * get after this when I was a little kid

21:06
 * and I was obsessed with um the food ooh

21:09
 * like going on Queens at the time and I

21:12
 * was like super obsessed with monsters

21:14
 * and witchcraft I would write letters to

21:16
 * the Paris

21:17
 * psychology department at Duke University

21:19
 * like long things about like I'm really

21:22
 * interested in paranormal I want to be it

21:24
 * like I want to do this and like asking

21:26
 * questions about witches said monsters

21:28
 * and stuff like that and they would never

21:29
 * get back to me I mean I mean really what

21:32
 * we'd want to encourage you know entirely

21:34
 * your professor with the bogus fucking

21:37
 * profession

21:38
 * you should probably respond to anybody

21:40
 * who buys it you know what we're talking

21:41
 * about here we're talking about Peter

21:43
 * Venkman class yes like that's Manxman

21:45
 * Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters oh yeah

21:48
 * those are you fucking every ghost bust I

21:50
 * don't tell me I don't want to go

21:51
 * yourself it's not economical other jokes

21:53
 * are not funny they are serious matters

21:56
 * that should not be jested about same

21:58
 * reason I've never seen him up a woman

21:59
 * ever you need us I would give you a

22:02
 * squirrel I've ever seen what's that one

22:04
 * Jesus movie that the most acting the

22:07
 * oppression of the Christ's passion the

22:08
 * crisis ever yeah no it's hard to watch

22:10
 * ghost movies Turner watch movies about

22:11
 * fake dumb shit Jesus Christ I do it

22:21
 * again the all time do it again give it

22:23
 * to me I bought a book today called the

22:25
 * origin of the devil that's that is

22:28
 * actually very true to come from would

22:31
 * you get that Housing Works who not I

22:33
 * have ever done words yeah absolutely

22:35
 * um let's get the Paranormal State

22:36
 * alright I Paranormal State it's a bunch

22:38
 * of 19-year olds the doing shit that's

22:40
 * fake they put their big there's it's

22:43
 * like all these kids are just like well

22:45
 * you know we'll ghosts are very important

22:47
 * and it's that weird thing of like

22:48
 * whenever the cameras and these people

22:49
 * they look like they're about to laugh

22:51
 * yeah I know it's like it's hard to

22:52
 * explain but they're all just sitting

22:53
 * there like just kind of like all excited

22:55
 * about being on television and then um

22:57
 * they decided to it's four of them and

23:00
 * then they have a trainee mm-hmm whose

23:02
 * name is like Calista and she's like I

23:05
 * don't know Sam I mean touch I'm gonna be

23:08
 * in charge of the guest investigation at

23:10
 * all right and then like doing these

23:13
 * interviews with people about this

23:14
 * haunted bar she's like seven you

23:16
 * fantastic aspect happening and they're

23:18
 * all just like old drugs are just like

23:20
 * ghosts been around

23:21
 * as did all the time go solo when

23:24
 * connected to be a ghost love me I know

23:27
 * it's like in your dumb chasm and they're

23:29
 * all just like thank for your questions

23:31
 * thanks feeling nice it's your answer and

23:33
 * the leader we're coming to be like no

23:35
 * Kara Kara was really thorough no

23:37
 * questions but there's a couple of things

23:38
 * you know what guys gotta bring a

23:39
 * recorder gotta bring a record a review

23:42
 * owner's name he's the founder of the

23:44
 * Paranormal Research Society at Penn

23:46
 * State University Hague wasted time

23:49
 * normals Nick that's why it's called

23:51
 * paranormal State is that is he the like

23:54
 * chubby like faggoty dude with the

23:56
 * glasses no which one was that that

23:59
 * that's on paranormal state he might have

24:01
 * been told she might wear our junior he

24:03
 * graduated or not just was like he was an

24:05
 * older guy he was in like his mid-30s oh

24:07
 * no no this is different

24:08
 * I think you saw an older episode I guess

24:11
 * so yeah um because there was the guy he

24:13
 * was one of those guys that like he walks

24:15
 * into the room and he just sort of stares

24:17
 * out into the distance I've seen ghosts I

24:20
 * can feel it I can feel him in the room

24:23
 * no and I hear something I feel something

24:25
 * can you feel it can you hear it

24:27
 * they just do all these ineffectual

24:29
 * shitty tests that are obviously mocked

24:31
 * up for television and they're awful it's

24:33
 * like they were like the big thing about

24:35
 * this haunted bar is that wineglasses

24:37
 * used to just fly off the thing a fella

24:39
 * named Charlie haunted who evidently

24:41
 * loved beer so it's like Charlie loves

24:43
 * beer and the owners will be like you

24:46
 * know I only have three wine glasses and

24:48
 * I don't buy no more because they just

24:49
 * keep on disappearing Charlie been

24:51
 * knocking up my lies to me people were

24:53
 * stealing a but it's like it's a bar wine

24:54
 * glasses are the most sensitive of all

24:56
 * glasses that's our as usually starts

24:58
 * breaking German mugs nobody that's a

25:00
 * real as soon as he appears in front of

25:02
 * you and pulls down your pants and starts

25:05
 * going

25:07
 * then you know he's real they getting the

25:09
 * glows a ghost blowjob would get just

25:12
 * like in ghost Ghostbuster which Dan

25:16
 * Aykroyd got a ghost blowjob I cut that

25:18
 * old story line another movie though I've

25:20
 * seen the thymine it had that one scene

25:22
 * man there was a whole storyline of him

25:25
 * going to this old forts really putting

25:27
 * on and then finding the costume of that

25:30
 * old general and putting it on and like

25:32
 * like kind of like dancing around

25:34
 * something and falling asleep on it now

25:35
 * is it ghost of his wife holy shit and

25:38
 * interesting I did not know that you

25:40
 * wouldn't know though well nobody knew

25:41
 * because it wasn't in the film I would

25:43
 * say that they gotta get those paranormal

25:46
 * stay people out there don't let those

25:47
 * ghost hunters know how to really hunt

25:48
 * go-sees fucking assholes

25:50
 * do this experiment so the experiment is

25:53
 * they use poor talcum powder down on the

25:55
 * tables and they put the wine glasses on

25:58
 * the 61 glasses on very rickety small

26:01
 * tables they come back at in the morning

26:04
 * and they're like oh my god and they see

26:08
 * that the wine glass was one of them has

26:11
 * slightly shifted right and they're just

26:14
 * like this can't be done this can't like

26:16
 * be done by not touching this table and

26:17
 * they're like Calista come not just table

26:19
 * unless the closer like water they put

26:20
 * back in the rest and she just goes like

26:23
 * uh and they all like try to like nudge

26:26
 * the table they're always like nudging

26:28
 * there there's no way there's no way on

26:30
 * one of these would move it's so stupid

26:31
 * it's just so it's such a fucking junkie

26:34
 * waste of time I love like and I would

26:37
 * say yeah they are they're the worst they

26:40
 * are definitely the worst I would say the

26:42
 * best though is one that we didn't watch

26:43
 * today is the ghost hunters that was the

26:45
 * original one to to come out of all the

26:48
 * one with the with the the front mounted

26:51
 * cameras front mounted cameras they do

26:54
 * the whole thing with the taps and they

26:55
 * they give the evidence to the person at

26:57
 * the end of the show yeah you know for

27:00
 * the most part they need to get they get

27:01
 * cool stuff it's all shadows and and make

27:04
 * believe and those terribly bizarre sound

27:06
 * waves that they get that don't actually

27:08
 * exist are they they look they are the

27:11
 * nicest as well to the ghosts on my

27:13
 * opinion are these the guys that like

27:15
 * mostly go for like mental hospitals and

27:17
 * they go like place yeah

27:19
 * which we are going to go to one very

27:21
 * very soon yes we will goddamnit I want

27:23
 * to go too and the other thing to

27:24
 * definitely want to go to Montclair New

27:26
 * Jersey laughs man all right but so the

27:29
 * Mothman that's all man I've been

27:32
 * obsessed with the Mothman since I was

27:33
 * like 13 years old well yeah it's for the

27:35
 * mother the Mothman whenever I was a kid

27:37
 * I had a book of like urban legends yeah

27:40
 * there was an illustration of the Mothman

27:42
 * that was one of the most terrifying I'm

27:45
 * pretty sure I had a same exact book I

27:47
 * think some of that illustration of the

27:49
 * Mothma the famous one right yeah let's

27:50
 * on 'fl this is a question we want to put

27:53
 * to our viewing audience if you let

27:56
 * listening or listening I mean zombies

27:59
 * editage to edit it all right so ah this

28:01
 * is a question for you guys um are we

28:04
 * real or are we go sir you listening to

28:06
 * this right now are we goes uh if you

28:09
 * have a haunting you would like us to

28:11
 * investigate let us know we will do the

28:14
 * real deal haunting we're the only ones

28:15
 * you could get rid of this ghost and

28:17
 * we're not going to bring cameras in

28:18
 * there now I mean we're gonna we're going

28:20
 * to bring some cameras and remember

28:21
 * hammers we're going to be respectful to

28:23
 * the goats and if you live in the New

28:24
 * York area Long Island Staten Island

28:27
 * please hit us up anywhere anywhere that

28:30
 * we can get to on a train from Brooklyn

28:33
 * if you have anything like this email me

28:36
 * at Marcus dot J dot parks at gmail.com

28:41
 * do it email let go and we're gonna try

28:44
 * to do it the ghost will the bus goes for

28:47
 * you we will stop you're going once again

28:49
 * Henry we got to go in there with respect

28:51
 * and we might not find any goat we're

28:53
 * gonna fucking go in there we're gonna

28:54
 * kick these ghosts in their fucking nut

28:57
 * sounds like goats lab right now right

29:00
 * now smell my grab a coat so I'm pushing

29:02
 * down a better one I can already sat in

29:04
 * rows I mean that's like Henry shut up

29:06
 * Henry

29:08
 * now this is the kind of piece we need to

29:11
 * find a ghost

29:12
 * wait a second did you hear that hear

29:14
 * that what the look back at a pervert oh

29:16
 * wow wow wow wow you girl

29:18
 * I think it's thing we've to end the

29:19
 * fucking episode god damnit ghost yah yah

29:23
 * yah yah yah at least one usable yah yah

29:28
 * yah yah yah got the end you guys super

29:33
 * room from yank now honey we want to know

29:36
 * what goes on but send us your

29:37
 * information we're going to go out there

29:38
 * and we're going to do it and we want to

29:39
 * interview you and it's gonna be a great

29:41
 * time so I'll write for Marcus Parks

29:43
 * Henry Zebrowski hey guys oh this has

29:47
 * been last podcast on the left we're

29:48
 * gonna talk to you real soon and excited

29:49
 * to get your feedback

29:50
 * yeah me gusta lations megusta lations I

29:53
 * forgot what it went after me gusta

29:56
 * lingsha do you not having her

29:57
 * catchphrase anymore I which one I don't

29:59
 * you had one I am looking forward to it

30:03
 * Oh Magoo still a consolation for you as

30:06
 * well your emails though or a cave comedy

30:09
 * radio you can just email that calm right

30:11
 * now you just email Marcus J dot parks

30:14
 * Gmail okay we're gonna find in cure

30:16
 * ghosts dot J dot parks doc I'm with the

30:18
 * parks with a K parks with a K Marcus

30:20
 * with a C okay with a Jake day with a Jay

30:24
 * that's all so confusing J stands for

30:26
 * Jordan oh my god well they're never

30:30
 * gonna be able to reach us now so it's

30:33
 * good episode though mark AJ Marquez

30:36
 * jangly parks Marcus jingling Marcus

30:39
 * taught junior you didn't hear our Castle

30:41
 * Jewish marks juggling ugly I'm jungle

30:45
 * parks goodbye