Episode 5: Sightings/Transcript

00:00
 * I can hand you the fuck out of here man

00:03
 * what's up that spice don't I what am i

00:13
 * you are my you're a robot Wow but no why

00:17
 * could I could be considered a robot

00:20
 * gladly welcome to West without gas on

00:23
 * the left the spookiest podcast you're

00:25
 * ever gonna listen to with this as always

00:27
 * we've gas Braca

00:29
 * it reminds me hey it's my birthday today

00:32
 * happy birthday every birthday and May 1st

00:34
 * and of course we're recording this

00:36
 * the skinniest one in the room

00:39
 * Marcus parks how you doing Mars bars at

00:42
 * a big gala nice one in this room I'm the

00:44
 * skinniest one in the round table yeah

00:46
 * that's sure definitely yeah this this

00:49
 * one and round table and pretty much

00:51
 * every podcast second hey Marcus isn't

00:53
 * really that skinny he's kind of got a

00:55
 * bit of a guns on him but where's a gun

00:58
 * it is a gut cock if you're talking about

01:00
 * a man Oh doc doc I'm not sound like a

01:05
 * fan or get China yeah it's a gut in a

01:08
 * cunt

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 * ah guns again I better give me that gun

01:11
 * speaking of crazy gun looking is things

01:15
 * and whatnot we're talking like UFOs

01:17
 * today yeah the very very special special

01:22
 * conversation this is a thing ladies and

01:24
 * gentlemen that today you you opened up

01:27
 * this document that is now our you know

01:30
 * our part cast don't know you've

01:32
 * downloaded our podcast or listening to

01:33
 * it you're loving it you got to know that

01:36
 * you're gonna be probably put on some

01:37
 * sort of list by the government yeah

01:40
 * government because today we are going to

01:43
 * get to the bottom of the UFO story we're

01:48
 * gonna crack this code ladies and we're

01:49
 * getting in there we're proving that

01:51
 * aliens exist yeah and your lives are in

01:55
 * danger I'd really like to know if there

01:57
 * was anyone who seriously whenever you

01:58
 * said you're going to be put on some kind

02:00
 * of list they just throw their iPod

02:01
 * together Roma Gabba no no the listeners

02:05
 * of this podcast you're on so many lists

02:07
 * it's just a yeah route if you were

02:09
 * already downloading this in your

02:11
 * and you're disgusting you're flawed a

02:13
 * lien mythology has been around for

02:15
 * pretty much ever right yeah and every

02:18
 * culture has some sort of reference to

02:21
 * either like large-eyed beings it's like

02:24
 * you come from the sky in flaming cigars

02:27
 * and all various they're sort of Native

02:29
 * American jibber jabber about aliens they

02:32
 * can't really describe it but everybody

02:34
 * seems to have something of things coming

02:35
 * from the sky and helping them with like

02:38
 * building sort like the pyramids in

02:40
 * Mexico

02:40
 * maybe the pyramids in Mexico yeah there

02:43
 * are parents and pyramids in I did not

02:45
 * know they're good to go yeah and so

02:47
 * people just assume that these Mexican

02:48
 * pyramids must have been made by aliens

02:50
 * because they don't believe the Mexican

02:51
 * people are capable of such unbelievable

02:53
 * architecture well absolutely when you've

02:55
 * got tortillas as far as the eye can see

02:57
 * right how can you imagine you'd be able

02:59
 * to focus on building a pyramid oh yeah

03:02
 * here they are these are the chicken

03:04
 * it'sa chicken eats us chicken Itza yeah

03:08
 * that's what they're called

03:08
 * sheesh Anita I think I think she said

03:10
 * she chanita if there's anyone out there

03:12
 * Mayan who's listening to this podcast if

03:15
 * you are please help us with the proper

03:17
 * pronunciation absolutely no mines left

03:19
 * she should need sir

03:20
 * Zapata got the Mexican pyramids here and

03:25
 * then of course you have your Egyptian

03:26
 * pyramids and no one could believe the

03:28
 * man could make that when in fact we know

03:30
 * for a fact men did make that through

03:32
 * slave labor so really a slave labor hey

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 * that's an unidentified sad object will

03:38
 * really say they also say they like the

03:41
 * the Bible story of the Tower of Babel

03:43
 * could be connected to an alien encounter

03:46
 * which was a sort of if you believe

03:50
 * there's many schools of thought said

03:51
 * like Zacharias Sitchin right so

03:54
 * basically all these sort of

03:56
 * quote-unquote non-fiction books about

03:58
 * what's-his-name

03:59
 * zecharia sitchin oh he sounds like an

04:01
 * alien he's Amish I think would you see

04:03
 * he gets time to think

04:04
 * riah yes Zechariah will you please tend

04:08
 * to the goats idol must think everybody's

04:10
 * an alien absolutely driving their Ford

04:12
 * Taurus does that interview with buttons

04:13
 * yeah anybody using a blender to make a

04:16
 * daiquiri which is what it's a daiquiri

04:18
 * what sad a guy I know they came up they

04:20
 * had two lights when they came in their

04:21
 * intricate some sort of soft

04:23
 * beverage it wasn't liquid but it wasn't

04:24
 * a hard but no Zecharia Sitchin wrote

04:28
 * about how human beings are the result of

04:31
 * a program of a far far greater

04:34
 * intelligence than us planning us here

04:36
 * and that there's also sort of a belief

04:39
 * that aliens have messed with human DNA

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 * nor to help along evolution that they've

04:43
 * helped us with technology and sort of if

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 * you believe anything that came out of

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 * the Roswell incident there's a lot of

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 * people who believe according to it was a

04:51
 * book written called the day after

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 * Roswell by Gregory Corso which is he

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 * talks about how wireless internet I

04:58
 * heard about that was retroactive Lee

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 * built out of what crashed at Roswell

05:02
 * which is fantastic but is it real yes I

05:06
 * mean it is yes I mean every real yeah

05:08
 * every single question whenever you're

05:10
 * gonna ask is it real the answers yes of

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 * course so of course they give us the

05:13
 * wireless internet and that's also where

05:16
 * we figured out the love of tentacle porn

05:18
 * yes that's a very a UFO type kind of

05:23
 * smut they they come with all of their

05:26
 * eight dicks to it which is pretty pretty

05:28
 * fantastic yes the et porn no it's a

05:32
 * woman with this big ET mask on it that

05:35
 * very it got very realistic very real is

05:38
 * her clitoris she's all she's all kind of

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 * brown and saggy and just a bunch of

05:45
 * dudes fuck et it is good money for

05:47
 * someone like that

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 * there's just no reason and that's just

05:49
 * not good alien research no that is

05:53
 * slapdash sort of scientists over there

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 * know an area 69 was a so that what

06:00
 * happened at area 51 edwards air air Air

06:03
 * Force Base Air Force Base Air Force Base

06:07
 * that's a good that's a good vocal warmup

06:09
 * Air Force Base it happened at uh Owen

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 * all Chiquitita most recently it happened

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 * at the homie the airport so that's the

06:16
 * thing but you see those people what

06:18
 * about the next her today was that next

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 * sort of the homie don't play that

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 * Municipal Building and playground ah I

06:23
 * don't get it fuck yeah well of course

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 * we're always loving in color living in

06:29
 * living a living in color living in color

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 * in living color why am i rich

06:36
 * that's why you're retarded cuz you're

06:38
 * completely to know what it is dead today

06:40
 * you're pretty soon yeah it's like how

06:42
 * like supersonic jets can only operate

06:44
 * properly when they're flying at sonic

06:46
 * speed I mean cuz it makes all the

06:48
 * fuselage come together you just have to

06:50
 * be real drunk in order to be funny I

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 * gotta get this cocaine brain change the

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 * whole thing

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 * um alright so so there's still a lot of

06:58
 * people out there hanging out with area

06:59 51 but I think the aliens are probably 07:01
 * done with that space there's probably

07:03
 * nothing else going on the only thing

07:04
 * that I understand is so there's a lot of

07:06
 * talk or let's say something landed at

07:08
 * Roswell and they they have it at area 51

07:11
 * I was watching a documentary a

07:13
 * documentary that was called area 51

07:16
 * recently they're talking to how area 51

07:19
 * is pretty much genuinely a Air Force

07:23
 * Base that houses it's sort of it does

07:25
 * nuclear testing the valleys around it

07:27
 * where and then it does like testing of

07:29
 * super spy planes you know stuff that we

07:32
 * won't see but there's a place apparently

07:34
 * next area 51 called s4 which is a series

07:39
 * of hangars built in the mountains and

07:41
 * they have like all sort of topographical

07:43
 * like pictures of it from that Russia has

07:45
 * according to their files on us Russia

07:47
 * yeah from Russia and according to their

07:51
 * there is some sort of there there is a

07:53
 * place there that's holding a bunch of

07:55
 * aircraft the only an aircraft basically

07:57
 * the one the big crash in Roswell in 1947

08:01
 * and then there's another one in 1953

08:03
 * that happened I think in Seattle it was

08:06
 * there was something like that or there's

08:08
 * some other place what's it just landed

08:10
 * right on the Space Needle and it's just

08:12
 * hanging out he's just like right there

08:13
 * an age when Apple was a space but it was

08:15
 * a space that's pretty uh but so there's

08:18
 * according to area 51 they could quote a

08:21
 * guy named Rob Lazar who was a scientist

08:24
 * who came out of area 51 who was at

08:28
 * basically the first one to come out and

08:31
 * speak on anything he saw there and

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 * according to him he worked at s4 which

08:36
 * is where the really secret shit happens

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 * right and then he was brought into a

08:40
 * hangar walk onto a disc-shaped object

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 * this huge like tiny like ooze like was

08:45
 * tiny on the inside but it was

08:47
 * massive on the outside you walked in and

08:49
 * it was there their job basically a bunch

08:52
 * of guys with guns pointing and him were

08:54
 * like you got to make this for us he's

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 * like this is a thing look at it take it

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 * apart

09:00
 * figure out how works and make one for us

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 * and apparently two scientists had died

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 * already

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 * according to they try to hack open on

09:09
 * the inside they sort of like weird

09:12
 * nuclear reactor that sits in the center

09:14
 * of thing and popped it and it exploded

09:17
 * this huge facility on the like outskirts

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 * of s4 and they just wrote it off as a

09:22
 * nuclear test Wow but that's all but then

09:25
 * a court but then they set out and a

09:27
 * completely discredited him like there

09:28
 * was like oh that here's what they said

09:30
 * about that how they discredited him the

09:32
 * critics say that is credibility crumbled

09:34
 * after schools he was supposed to have

09:36
 * attended had no record of him while

09:38
 * others in the scientific community had

09:39
 * no memory of ever meeting him almost

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 * like they were erased their memories

09:43
 * were erased Tommy Lee Jones did it this

09:45
 * is big man we had 11 these men embark on

09:48
 * running around all the time race in our

09:49
 * memory something we gotta remember

09:50
 * that's right so they completely

09:53
 * discredited this guy but he stands by

09:54
 * his story of course you stayed in spy

09:56
 * story in interviews with him he fuckin

09:59
 * sounds like a scientist he looks like a

10:01
 * scientist he's like not a he doesn't

10:03
 * seem like a like a lunatic he's just

10:06
 * talking about stuff he it seems like he

10:08
 * obviously fuckin saw and it was his cool

10:10
 * but I mean then he says nutty shit like

10:13
 * it's a gravitational wave engine that's

10:17
 * supposed to like create a gravitational

10:19
 * gap in front of the the whatever the

10:22
 * ship is and what it does is the ship

10:25
 * then pulls towards gravity like it's

10:27
 * falling constantly which allows you to

10:30
 * travel past the speed of light and then

10:32
 * something about the gravitational space

10:35
 * shortens space and time so that as you

10:38
 * use it you're the object or going

10:40
 * towards gets shorter to you and faster

10:42
 * for you to go there I follow right I

10:44
 * don't know yeah

10:45
 * that's not but it's still but I mean I'm

10:46
 * bad at all invented I mean I just took

10:48
 * transair over to Wisconsin I want to I

10:51
 * want a UFO flight far much better

10:53
 * absolutely well I mean you won't get a

10:54
 * television I imagine it's gonna be hard

10:57
 * to pick up satellite in any sort of

10:59
 * Wi-Fi yeah

11:00
 * yeah that's true it seemed I mean I

11:02
 * don't know why it doesn't seem

11:03
 * impossible to America to make a flying

11:05
 * saucer we've got the helicopter which

11:06
 * pulls up from the land and then of

11:09
 * course the frisbee with a little frisbee

11:11
 * copter according to him it said that the

11:13
 * engine took an element that we don't

11:15
 * have and that so this is OK this is also

11:18
 * where it gets really stupid and daddy

11:21
 * and he said that there are nine

11:23
 * different discs yes and though they're

11:24
 * all different shapes and sizes according

11:27
 * them after according to him in 1953 when

11:30
 * this other ship happily the other crash

11:32
 * happened I forget where it was they it

11:35
 * wasn't a crash this thing landed and

11:38
 * essentially these aliens were like ah

11:40
 * hey hello like talk to us oh hey hi and

11:43
 * that they are from the binary star

11:47
 * cluster of Zeta Reticuli oh and that

11:49
 * they gave them a hundred pounds of this

11:53
 * element 150 element 115 is called uh

11:56
 * it's nicknamed ununpentium ununpentium

11:59
 * yeah what is it

12:01
 * I don't know so I mean so that is then

12:05
 * you're like okay okay so you you met an

12:08
 * alien you met and when they they

12:10
 * described as a three-foot-tall like grey

12:13
 * creature with big eyes and stuff oh no

12:16
 * he's on the Jersey Shore now they uh I

12:20
 * just don't know I just feel like what

12:23
 * the fuck you supposed to say how did how

12:24
 * do I believe you now because I want to

12:26
 * yeah because I want to see it myself if

12:28
 * I saw it and lose my shit I would be

12:31
 * like awesome and I quit everything yeah

12:33
 * and like what follow them around seemed

12:36
 * very squishy to me they are all squishy

12:39
 * characters which I guess makes sense

12:40
 * which base carry yeah yeah really bones

12:42
 * but more cartilage just amazed every

12:44
 * they're smarter now yeah similarly cats

12:47
 * but they're all because they're all

12:48
 * brain they're all brain and there's no

12:50
 * way for them to survive any sort of

12:52
 * animal attack whatsoever

12:54
 * so get out think them but the thing is

12:56
 * now with all right so let's say we have

12:59
 * many aliens which is true because that's

13:00
 * what we decide to do is all podcast it's

13:02
 * absolutely true that we met they are

13:03
 * perhaps uh I'll tell you that why they

13:06
 * keeping it a secret right number one

13:08
 * what is the possible I mean besides like

13:10
 * sort of mass panic but I don't know if

13:13
 * it's going away

13:14
 * yeah I mean it would shatter a lot of

13:16
 * religions and strengthen a whole series

13:18
 * of other ones I guess if we do confirm

13:20
 * aliens what Scientology would really

13:22
 * take off yeah I'd be big yeah but even

13:25
 * an alien I imagine would say would you

13:28
 * describe to them Scientology they'd be

13:30
 * like that's insane they're not really

13:33
 * that's not how the aliens work I'm sorry

13:35
 * I'm an alien

13:37
 * yeah that's true oh one of those Seth

13:38
 * Rogen aliens that's what we need to meet

13:40
 * some of those cool weed smoking funny

13:43
 * aliens absolutely that'll be fine then

13:45
 * well there's gotta be one alien out

13:47
 * there who's just the coolest little

13:48
 * alien around there's no one handsome he

13:50
 * wants to go to earth and like be a part

13:52
 * of Hollywood just walk rock and roll

13:54
 * music and he likes to dance he likes to

13:56
 * just go out there with kids and go to

13:57
 * concerts and stuff like that yeah I mean

13:59
 * they're a primitive must rock and roll

14:01
 * music sits out of these people they must

14:02
 * just be listen to random sounds I know

14:07
 * that's yours you know go back oh my gosh

14:10
 * look I got ya it's strange yeah we're

14:14
 * Chi Smith

14:15
 * yeah as they were building the pyramids

14:16
 * and as a maraca regarde Gaga or there's

14:23
 * another thing there's another theory

14:26
 * that what if aliens are future humans

14:29
 * well it's rose the guy I'm travelers

14:31
 * yeah future humans are past humans who

14:34
 * left us here and went away to do

14:37
 * whatever they had to do and then we were

14:38
 * able like in the evolutionary step maybe

14:40
 * we're just missing one more little

14:42
 * ingredient before us they were here they

14:45
 * had to be super smart they figure out a

14:46
 * way to get the hell out because he's

14:47
 * wildebeests and gorillas and cavemen

14:50
 * were eating their brains having sex with

14:52
 * their wives and you know stealing their

14:53
 * kids so they were like we're gonna zip

14:55
 * on out

14:56
 * yeah and they figured out a way to do

14:57
 * that left us here on earth and 5,000

15:00
 * years later we figured out fire yeah and

15:03
 * and now we're just coming to terms with

15:05
 * the idea that we're retarded and there's

15:06
 * a super race of humans out there who a

15:09
 * lien I just wonder I wonder if it's true

15:11
 * if aliens are here to manipulate our DNA

15:15
 * and slowly make us like them or maybe

15:17
 * and that's where they are we are all of

15:19
 * the same race they are all volume.i but

15:21
 * but the other thing was also believing

15:24
 * that all life is based on carbon which

15:26
 * is not necessarily

15:27
 * like life could also be based on

15:29
 * phosphorus yep phosphorus was the one

15:31
 * they just discovered yeah and then one

15:33
 * middle of Los Angeles so we know didnít

15:36
 * get discredited did they say that that

15:38
 * wasn't real

15:38
 * did it I hope it did worry was just some

15:41
 * sort of just dumb like Yahoo news picked

15:44
 * it up and was like alien found in LA and

15:46
 * there's like oh no I know no it was just

15:49
 * it was a thing we know about it's

15:50
 * fucking science we don't have the time

15:52
 * to possibly explain to Yahoo News that's

15:55
 * right new camera um and you're from of

15:58
 * course from the Texas and there's a lot

15:59
 * of sightings and stuff over there quite

16:01
 * regularly

16:02
 * oh yeah we're real bored and well that

16:06
 * was so I watched another documentary

16:08
 * Phoenix lights yes we talked about this

16:10
 * on the last podcast about Colts and that

16:12
 * was another very interesting thing to of

16:14
 * a mass sighting of 15,000 people calling

16:17
 * and seeing these lights over Phoenix

16:18
 * again it's just another sort of wide

16:21
 * open space place like Arizona in Texas

16:24
 * where it seems like the aliens know that

16:26
 * if you put a message in this form of sky

16:28
 * that a lot of people are going to see it

16:31
 * because there's just so much of it like

16:33
 * that's why you know I imagine that's why

16:36
 * there's not a lot of UFO presence like

16:38
 * in New York where it would be it'd be

16:42
 * kind of difficult I don't look up well

16:43
 * there was one there was something that

16:45
 * happened in New York not too long ago I

16:47
 * think it was last November yeah that's

16:49
 * right now the triangle lives in this you

16:51
 * love these triangle lights coming out

16:53
 * now that's what the one and cozinha

16:55
 * jewel was the government officially said

16:57
 * there's an 810 Warthog aircraft yeah but

17:00
 * then they said they watched it slowly

17:03
 * pan across the sky you watch the videos

17:05
 * in the documentary of the sighting five

17:08
 * yellow lights it's ludicrous it's not a

17:10
 * fucking airplane it's not one it's not

17:13
 * making a noise in a vision if it's an

17:16
 * airplane and it's that fucking huge it's

17:19
 * a size of football field yeah and it's

17:21
 * just slowly inching across the sky

17:24
 * and it's like airplanes will move like

17:26
 * that I don't know maybe the aliens and

17:28
 * the government have some sort of deal

17:30
 * going on that we don't know about that

17:32
 * but don't you think that they would have

17:34
 * to then have deals with Russia and with

17:37
 * China and like because how can us be the

17:40
 * only people to

17:41
 * have a deal with you I mean it sounds to

17:43
 * me like these aliens are just Chinese

17:46
 * you're just saying that because they're

17:48
 * slanty eyes

17:49
 * well you just see anything is they've

17:51
 * got the biggest eyes around it's true

17:53
 * they're mostly I mean yeah yeah I mean I

17:55
 * don't know what would be the point of

17:56
 * having the deal with the aliens I guess

17:58
 * you know Asus terribie number one the

18:01
 * complete uh shattering of all religions

18:03
 * and God knows what people would start

18:05
 * doing if they found out that aliens

18:07
 * actually exist yeah I mean people like

18:08
 * me I just I just give up I shouldn't do

18:10
 * anything anymore I'll be done I just go

18:13
 * work go to where the aliens were and

18:14
 * hang out with the aliens yeah I wonder

18:16
 * how fun they are though I mean not like

18:18
 * a culture of brainiacs you know that

18:20
 * yeah they're nerds super nerdy you know

18:23
 * and maybe that's why they haven't

18:25
 * attacked us yet because we're

18:26
 * Neanderthals and they're petrified that

18:29
 * we're just gonna come after them with

18:30
 * sticks and stones and bazookas and

18:32
 * nuclear weapons and maybe they're not

18:35
 * very good with the weapon weapon

18:36
 * technology is true or you like we'd say

18:38
 * what dan Aykroyd

18:40
 * I believe and which is true like Dan

18:43
 * Aykroyd has his documentary unplugged on

18:45
 * UFOs which is him uh restiess tune is on

18:48
 * yeah he sings penalty it's really nice

18:50
 * to do just that he does he is that guy

18:52
 * in the back playing drums with it with

18:55
 * it brushes yeah you know I mean not even

18:57
 * playing full drums is she so sweets like

18:59
 * what I like full drums here's what

19:01
 * happened Rahm did LexA do um but no then

19:06
 * he talks then he does a couple hour set

19:08
 * just talking rambles about you will

19:11
 * tells a story about how you woke up and

19:13
 * he was awoken by these UFOs right in his

19:16
 * home in Los Angeles this is - that's the

19:18
 * only problem

19:19
 * I love dan Aykroyd I trust dan Aykroyd

19:22
 * implicitly he's a fucking Ghostbuster

19:25
 * yes that one of the best people on the

19:28
 * face of the planet as far as I'm

19:29
 * concerned that UFOs story of him being

19:32
 * in bed he was in bed and then heard in

19:34
 * his head come outside and then didn't go

19:37
 * outside then he was like I'm not going

19:38
 * outside and then didn't go outside but

19:40
 * then he's like but then I heard other

19:42
 * people say they saw UFO yeah that's a

19:45
 * little true US was a sluggers dream but

19:49
 * yeah Dana heard also believes that the

19:51
 * CIA shut down his sci-fi Network show

19:53
 * because he was releasing too much truth

19:55
 * yeah you know I think between him and

19:57
 * Jesse Ventura is really believes there's

19:59
 * just like my truth too hard man

20:01
 * everybody just know I'm just dropping

20:03
 * bombs at knowledge and everybody the CIA

20:05
 * is coming in here to shut me down it's

20:06
 * like you did three episodes of a show on

20:10
 * sci-fi channel a terrible show for us

20:12
 * yeah you know like the five dudes

20:16 300-plus pounds oh really 20:19
 * the man's not getting any thinner it out

20:21
 * or short I did say in the whole thing to

20:22
 * document him just fucking chain-smoking

20:24
 * it yeah easing no I mean you know you

20:27
 * kind of want to have a conversation with

20:28
 * him about it but then at the same time

20:29
 * it'd be so damn intense so frightening I

20:32
 * never wanted to try and prove him wrong

20:34
 * cuz I love that he thinks that he's

20:36
 * right I love I love how passionate he is

20:39
 * and I wish I could feel that way about a

20:42
 * single thing in my life

20:44
 * you know well I mean you're just gonna

20:45
 * have one of those sightings you had a

20:48
 * sighting in a cemetery didn't you yeah

20:50
 * whenever I was in high school so I was

20:52
 * staring up at the the stars like held

20:55
 * way up you know you get out in the

20:57
 * middle of nowhere and just the stars

20:58
 * just everywhere you can see the fucking

21:00
 * Milky Way I was just staring at this one

21:02
 * spot there was like this blinking light

21:04
 * like wait wait wait for out there and it

21:07
 * was blinking I was just in there staring

21:09
 * at it and then it just like flew across

21:12
 * the sky like in an instant just I mean I

21:15
 * mean I realized I fell off a gravestone

21:17
 * no and then a skeleton came by and said

21:22
 * boo boo boo all day but you saw an alien

21:26
 * my friend and you are very lucky you

21:29
 * didn't get abducted I would love to be

21:30
 * abducted it seems to me like it's never

21:32
 * that bad they always make such a big

21:34
 * deal out of it when they come back to

21:35
 * earth first of all they always bring

21:37
 * these retards back to earth they should

21:38
 * just keep them forever I don't believe

21:41
 * that

21:41
 * I don't think of ducting is real I think

21:43
 * I've ever known that is the one thing

21:44
 * that I'm just I'm not convinced on I

21:47
 * mean I kind of understand the idea that

21:50
 * like alien scientists are trying to

21:53
 * experiment us on us and try to clear it

21:55
 * out but I don't think it would work like

21:57
 * that I don't think there's gonna pick up

21:59
 * random people fucking look in their butt

22:01
 * holes and then drop well I I mean unless

22:04
 * they're they were all proctologists in

22:06
 * their former life and they just they

22:08
 * care about cancer yeah and how it's

22:10
 * affecting humans yeah you know maybe

22:12
 * that's the reason they're out there

22:14
 * trying to protect our tissue trying to

22:16
 * help us quit smoking absolutely yeah you

22:18
 * wanted anyway Edward they're really

22:19
 * gonna go after Aykroyd yeah they had a

22:22
 * whole Health Department the UFO world

22:24
 * and they see these human smoke in there

22:26
 * did they're devastated saddens them yeah

22:29
 * like the Native American after seeing

22:30
 * somebody litter eat one huge giant tear

22:33
 * graphic are you really here though not a

22:36
 * kak Glico Limon Co II feel sadness with

22:40
 * what you would call sadness what aliens

22:42
 * called

22:42
 * nothing that they don't really feel the

22:44
 * things that you feel that's true so you

22:46
 * think most of these abductions are just

22:47
 * hallucination story I think they're all

22:49
 * great memories closed up yeah I think

22:52
 * there are we there do mention there the

22:54
 * the alien looked a lot like their step

22:56
 * yeah

22:58
 * I mean what do you think would happen if

23:00
 * if we find out the UFOs are here I mean

23:03
 * I would assume there'd be about 20% of

23:04
 * the world's population that would just

23:06
 * kill themselves immediately I guess no

23:08
 * Jo your get insane I really I really

23:11
 * don't see what the big deal is about

23:12
 * like a what the public outcry and the

23:14
 * public reaction would be I really don't

23:16
 * think it would be that bad at all I cuz

23:18
 * I think that we're already there were

23:20
 * already conditioning groomed to accept

23:23
 * weird alien ships I got a conscience

23:25
 * with it there's a bunch of who has out

23:27
 * there though with shotguns already

23:29
 * loaded up and just they they you know

23:31
 * itched in the woods UFO killer on it a

23:34
 * shot good got bones in there they're

23:36
 * special for the UFOs you it is a way in

23:38
 * which in super-g bowman device bullets

23:40
 * yes daily don't touch that one when you

23:42
 * kill the deer touch the other one that's

23:44
 * the deer killer that's a picture of the

23:46
 * deer I um I mean if I was an alien I

23:49
 * would just be petrified to land in the

23:50
 * middle of the Texas that's why it's so

23:51
 * ironic every was like oh they always go

23:52
 * to these Bumble to places where you know

23:54
 * nobody exists but it's like I know

23:56
 * there's no galactic diplomats yeah yeah

24:00
 * Bumba do Texas right exactly

24:03
 * Oh way we'll saw whoa and then like

24:05
 * there's no reason why they would just

24:06
 * shoot no soft jellyfish hell yeah

24:08
 * absolutely BJ I said it in the face

24:10
 * first reaction is shoot to it like

24:13
 * something that you don't think I get

24:14
 * well because that's I mean there are so

24:16
 * many other things out there that can

24:17
 * kill you yeah so you like you see it's

24:20
 * like I don't know what that is I'm gonna

24:21
 * go

24:21
 * kill it before it kills me I don't know

24:23
 * if it's gonna kill me I don't even know

24:24
 * if it's gonna try but you know what it's

24:25
 * not gonna get the chance the other thing

24:28
 * is to get robbed laser cutter talks

24:31
 * touches upon this when he was being

24:33
 * interviewed he was talking about there

24:34
 * is a sort of even publicly written about

24:39
 * plan for dealing with alien life in the

24:41
 * government so yeah before they went to

24:43
 * the moon one big one they set up the

24:46
 * Apollo missions

24:47
 * the CIA and everyone had to sit down

24:49
 * talking about let's say we go to the

24:51
 * moon and there are people up there what

24:53
 * do we do

24:54
 * and the think-tank came up with this

24:56
 * sort of like loose plan of it's like a

24:58
 * thirty year long plan of disinformation

25:00
 * where you start off sort of you you shut

25:03
 * down all knowledge of UFO sightings call

25:07
 * everyone who's everyone who believes in

25:08
 * it crazy you know like destroy the

25:10
 * reputations do all this stuff

25:12
 * slowly let more and more information

25:14
 * leak out which is happening in the form

25:16
 * of like WikiLeaks right and like these

25:17
 * various places world it's classified UFO

25:19
 * documents are cutting out and basically

25:21
 * get the population used to the idea and

25:24
 * pretty much being like oh there's UFOs

25:26
 * but the government's covering it up I

25:28
 * mean they put your toe in the water

25:29
 * technique it's very smart a government

25:31
 * plan especially in the 60s oh yeah when

25:33
 * we went to the moon people were so

25:34
 * hopped up on God knows what yeah they

25:37
 * would have found an aliens were up there

25:38
 * Oh communist I mean how do we even know

25:42
 * does anybody ever ask how do we even

25:44
 * know what aliens look like or why do we

25:46
 * think they look the way that they look

25:47
 * because it's just what people say and

25:50
 * sort of I mean abductee reports people

25:52
 * saying of what happened at Roswell and

25:55
 * then yeah and you know what you're

25:56
 * talking about earlier the aliens

25:58
 * throughout the years like you see the

25:59
 * little drawing you see the little gray

26:02
 * men come up here and there it's all in

26:04
 * like Egyptian hieroglyphics it's like

26:06
 * it's really really interesting because

26:08
 * they call them angels and they work

26:10
 * there are a lot of these things that

26:12
 * came down and they sort of like weave it

26:14
 * into like sort of folklore about you

26:17
 * know these gods that came down and

26:18
 * helped us with this is God came down

26:20
 * like taught us how didn't like irrigate

26:23
 * this river and it was and they draw it

26:25
 * and it is a large eyed creature that is

26:28
 * not human nature and they say it came

26:31
 * from a thing from the sky and then you

26:32
 * had

26:33
 * and it happens in every goddamn religion

26:36
 * in every single society it happens like

26:39
 * a creationist myth

26:40
 * yeah yeah they all have it they all have

26:42
 * it need but it's like why do you need to

26:44
 * come from like who planted the first

26:46
 * seed was just the like the smartest but

26:48
 * like ugliest human being ever maybe

26:50
 * nobody no wandering through the desert a

26:52
 * big bug eyes

26:54
 * they're like helos like an alien and

26:56
 * then forever we just I mean because what

26:58
 * was your guy who loved Mad Magazine

27:00
 * caricature of that person were I wrong

27:02
 * on the cave wall yeah like the cover of

27:04
 * the week or something like that great if

27:07
 * the earth was just a huge wildlife

27:08
 * preserve for aliens and the ones that

27:11
 * come they're just tourists they come to

27:12
 * look at it they come in I would just say

27:14
 * funny that would be amazing if they like

27:16
 * helped us along and they just came to

27:18
 * check up on us every once in a while

27:19
 * they feel stuck in a zoo a lot of times

27:21
 * in life who fucking knows so maybe

27:23
 * that's what it is maybe that's how

27:25
 * intelligent life is sort of farmed

27:27
 * around the universe where it's like they

27:29
 * go to it like habitable planets and then

27:33
 * they they propagate it with like they

27:36
 * either like change the environment and

27:38
 * like allow DNA to construct itself and

27:41
 * like make various creatures that grow

27:43
 * into humans and then like once human

27:45
 * being comes up they fuck with our brains

27:47
 * and like be like well one generation at

27:49
 * a time making a smarter and like it like

27:51
 * working out tools and now that word is

27:54
 * dumber and now we're just talking about

27:55
 * the Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy yes

27:57
 * yeah that's where we've come back around

28:01
 * yeah I mean you know honestly I don't

28:03
 * know too much about aliens which I think

28:04
 * has been exposed uh in this podcast but

28:08
 * I seem to know a lot you know I've done

28:10
 * I just I don't know what happened

28:12
 * because it's fascinating it's you that I

28:14
 * Rea just got into my brain I read a lot

28:16
 * of sci-fi yeah I'm just fascinated I'm

28:21
 * also looking for any sort of excuse to

28:23
 * abandon this life and go John the aliens

28:24
 * if they just could just fucking take me

28:26
 * yeah get me off of this goddamn spinning

28:29
 * Rock aliens yeah absolutely

28:31
 * you don't think I'd see the truth in

28:33
 * your eyes I want to be a jester for them

28:35
 * I want you to chain me up and make

28:37
 * jornal chortle chortle chortle tried by

28:39
 * REI they're like we like it yeah this is

28:42
 * amazing they cannot rate but this one

28:44
 * you

28:45
 * as or the rapey republic yeah they could

28:48
 * break me the most you never know what

28:49
 * they're gonna be laughing at anything

28:50
 * what is there Larsen together what

28:52
 * scientists laugh at not weird sick stuff

28:55
 * yeah they just play with it just like

28:56
 * poke their penis with like a a bobby pin

28:59
 * yeah pokin the tip of their penis go ha

29:02
 * ha ha that's funny uh no letters because

29:05
 * of you know some sort of genetic reason

29:07
 * I don't know I mean I would love to be

29:10
 * adopted abducted though just to have

29:12
 * some evidence I've never seen an alien I

29:13
 * would definitely want to I've never seen

29:16
 * a UFO either you know they just gotta be

29:18
 * they gotta be around there were those

29:20
 * seven lights or 15 balloons is what they

29:23
 * call them over in New York City recently

29:25
 * yeah and I did get a grab a glimpse of

29:27
 * those because you love looking at

29:29
 * balloons I just looking burns all the

29:31
 * time

29:31
 * yeah man the thing is they said they

29:34
 * were balloons but they're so high in the

29:35
 * sky that I think as a balloon would've

29:37
 * been impossible to see but if you're an

29:39
 * alien culture I mean New York City this

29:41
 * is the place it's gonna get it first is

29:42
 * the place you just blow up right away

29:44
 * yeah I mean the buildings it just looks

29:47
 * beautiful to be devastated the it just

29:50
 * seems like that that's the only thing to

29:52
 * where it's like I just feel like we

29:54
 * either know if we could know if we could

29:57
 * know they would just like walk in front

29:59
 * of us and just tell us one day I don't

30:01
 * know why it's such a weird secret I

30:03
 * don't know why like if they're visiting

30:05
 * us like why they know it has to be a

30:07
 * secret like that doesn't really make a

30:09
 * whole lot of sense because you imagine

30:11
 * aliens would kind of show up with a big

30:12
 * grand parade being like hey everybody

30:14
 * don't shoot us or or that they're sort

30:17
 * of stuff like like the concept of

30:20
 * singularity right we're like artificial

30:22
 * intelligence will eventually become as

30:24
 * smart as right like our intelligence and

30:27
 * the idea that then you can propagate

30:29
 * yourself and sort of we were there

30:30
 * artificial intelligence to begin with

30:32
 * they made us to help them out and then

30:34
 * all of a sudden we just started jacking

30:35
 * off at 13 that we can't do we're left to

30:40
 * our own devices or what if aliens are a

30:42
 * bunch of nano machines what if their

30:43
 * bodies are made out of microscopic

30:45
 * machines and we wouldn't even know we

30:47
 * could be bombarded with sort of

30:48
 * different foreign life that showed from

30:50
 * a Wade like us like way way way in the

30:53
 * future which would probably be we're all

30:55
 * just cloud matter of

30:57
 * nanomachines enchantress uh poke

31:00
 * yourself I'll smoke you Henry please I

31:03
 * love to do it get you so high you know

31:05
 * Thalian scam i really hope i really hope

31:07
 * that it's gonna be the riffraff like

31:08
 * just the riffraff that the alien work

31:11
 * kind of feel like wants come but like

31:13
 * scummy a little bit but still still

31:15
 * pretty nice but just a little bit scummy

31:17
 * you know like John Carpenter's escape

31:19
 * from LA well they just they're all snake

31:21
 * and iasis but I will say if aliens do

31:27
 * come world peace is a possibility we

31:28
 * would all unite against the Kaname a

31:30
 * common enemy of Millions yeah would you

31:33
 * be pretty amazing I guess our religions

31:34
 * won't seem so powerful once we realize

31:36
 * that our ideas have not meant anything

31:37
 * although Jesus was a god diem alien well

31:40
 * but if Jesus was an alien and Buddha was

31:42
 * an alien and Gandhi was an alien John

31:44
 * Lennon was an alien oh my god what of

31:46
 * all those people were that we really I

31:48
 * think the alien to be pretty pissed off

31:49
 * that we killed all of their bodies

31:50
 * that's men in black talk yeah as men in

31:52
 * black well I'll tell you we're gonna get

31:54
 * back to this subject at a later date I'm

31:56
 * gonna do a little bit more research

31:57
 * that's fine and I had a lot I felt like

32:00
 * I was talking a lot of facts you did

32:02
 * talk a lot of facts and we love you

32:04
 * aliens so come back contact us please

32:06
 * come get us

32:06
 * you hate this group choose us the choose

32:10
 * us it's the last podcast on the left

32:11
 * Marcus Parks I'm having a pretty good

32:13
 * time here on earth I don't know about

32:14
 * you guys I'm fine

32:15
 * I can either fuck out of here yeah

32:18
 * what's up that spice go for Henry

32:22
 * Zebrowski I'm Benji so we will scare you

32:24
 * next week

32:26
 * [Music]