Episode 2: Demonology/Transcript

00:03
 * [Music]

00:06
 * welcome to the last podcast on the left

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 * second episode number 2 number duce I

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 * guarantee it won't be shitty however I'm

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 * been Kissel with me as always the

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 * beautiful succulent luscious co-host

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 * Marcus Parkes how you doing buddy first

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 * of all thank you for the kind words and

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 * I am doing wonderfully hell yeah so on

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 * today's episode we're gonna be talking

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 * specifically about demons and ghosts

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 * simply because we are the coolest people

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 * in the world and this is what everybody

00:42
 * nearing the age of 30 years discusses

00:45
 * with their won number uno best friend

00:49
 * yes all right so what do we got we got

00:52
 * demons on the list which of course have

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 * been but let's say the arch villains of

00:57
 * many a horror film throughout the years

00:59
 * oh it's a great subject to or it's a

01:01
 * great villain have it's a fantastic

01:04
 * villain and really a villain that is far

01:07
 * more terrifying than than others on

01:09
 * account you can't see it unless the

01:12
 * demon wants you to see it you know you

01:14
 * have no ability to possibly destroy it

01:17
 * I have no ideal good I haven't figured

01:20
 * out how how would you possibly get a

01:21
 * killer demon

01:22
 * well you can have an exorcist type of

01:26
 * thing from of course do you remember I

01:27
 * mean there are ways to stave them off

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 * but for the most part I mean for example

01:33
 * drag me to hell right fantastic Sam

01:36
 * Raimi's last movie which I absolutely

01:37
 * loved what a perfect

01:39
 * um the pinnacle of his brain I in my

01:42
 * opinion it was funny it was scary it was

01:44
 * goopy it was gross it was everything

01:46
 * that you wanted Sam Raimi to be and

01:48
 * especially coming off the heels of

01:49
 * spider-man 3 yeah thank Christ he was

01:52
 * able to get his horror brain back but in

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 * that movie there is you know the old

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 * Mexican mystic of course that was and I

02:00
 * love that I love that so much because

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 * you know the movie starts with this

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 * woman in contact with his demon and her

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 * son is pulled down right hell like I

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 * mean the very first scene of the movie

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 * is an eight-year-old being

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 * hold into the depths of hell literally

02:15
 * right to hell I do it yeah I enjoy that

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 * was not an elaborate piece of wording or

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 * anything like that dragged me to hell

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 * it's literally just a demon the earth

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 * opens yeah as if it's a you know a small

02:26
 * woman's vagina on her wedding night and

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 * and then immediately gets you know and

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 * immediately grabs a small leg or an arm

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 * and drags it right down to hell and then

02:37
 * the scene into the say it's a end of the

02:40
 * second act

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 * whenever the protagonist goes with her

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 * fortune teller buddy and they go to this

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 * woman's like I believe there's someone

02:49
 * who can help you right and of course

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 * this was all you know a based because

02:54
 * this all had to happen because the woman

02:56
 * worked in an insurance company mmm-hmm

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 * the elderly which came in she was a

03:00
 * banker she worked at a bank oh she was a

03:02
 * banker yeah okay so she was a banker and

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 * an elderly lady came in looking for a

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 * loan and frankly I don't know how that

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 * woman entered the the bank I doubt

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 * that's one security should have stopped

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 * anytime they have black nails and she

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 * was probably 35 G's old gypsy woman yeah

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 * so whole gypsy women are terrifying

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 * gypsies aged like dogs and this isn't

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 * anything to say rude about dogs because

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 * I love dogs but obviously so this

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 * elderly petrifying desperate looking

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 * very homely as if she would have no

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 * power in the world which is which is

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 * always so ironic about the witch they

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 * look like the elderly woman that needs

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 * help crossing the street when in fact

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 * they're the elderly woman that's gonna

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 * put a curse on you and eventually

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 * inevitably encourage a demon to drag you

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 * to hell oh yeah so the elderly lady goes

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 * in there and she's like I need a loan

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 * for whatever kind of home she had what

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 * it was that she needed an extension on

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 * her mortgage but okay she didn't get the

03:55
 * extension on her mortgage then she would

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 * be thrown out of her home and I enjoy

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 * that Sam Raimi kind of took into account

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 * the economic situation of the time as

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 * well with a lot of people would relate

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 * to that witch gypsy woman yeah and the

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 * protagonist the girl was had just been

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 * spoken to about her boss about being a

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 * little rougher a little tougher she's

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 * trying to get a promotion that's right

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 * and shine go in ahead and she's going

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 * against an Asian fellow who is horrible

04:20
 * man he's a horrible man but I give him

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 * kudos you know he's a go-getter he's a

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 * go-getter and he is an Asian

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 * mother he has to talk to every night and

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 * tell her that he's doing the best he can

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 * yeah I you know note no qualms with him

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 * you know you go out there you do the

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 * best he can but it makes for a very

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 * difficult job for this young lady

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 * because she has a good soul and she

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 * doesn't want to tell people no exactly

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 * and so the very next person that comes

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 * in right after the speech is the old

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 * gypsy woman who's a very sympathetic

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 * character you know - it's an old woman

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 * she's got a horrible hack hacking cough

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 * oh yeah she's spitting shit up into a in

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 * a fucking handkerchief hmm and she goes

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 * in to the boss and like hey can we

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 * really we need to help this woman out

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 * and boss like well you need to make the

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 * tough decisions right and so she goes

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 * out and she denies the woman's alone and

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 * the woman I mean I will say you know she

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 * made the right business decision that's

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 * the thing I mean this woman isn't paying

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 * back any loan now I don't think that the

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 * Gypsy Oh what does she do maybe tarot

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 * cards outside of her front stoop or and

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 * the very best some of some old skeleton

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 * bones if she throws against the wall and

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 * said tell somebody you don't have cancer

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 * yeah whatever it might be so I

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 * understand the woman's eye you know odds

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 * are this woman isn't financially

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 * successful enough to deserve this you

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 * know

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 * extension of course and so this what the

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 * protagonist denies her the extension you

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 * know is very you know very nice with

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 * just like I'm sorry I can't do it and so

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 * the old gypsy woman gets down on her

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 * knees and starts begging her it's like I

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 * beg you I beg you to give me the loan

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 * yeah there and that exceed very pathetic

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 * Xena yeah and the girl like throws her

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 * off and like kind of screams and

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 * everyone in everyone in the bank like

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 * looks and like sees that this is

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 * happening and the whole thing comes

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 * because she shamed the gypsy woman you

06:13
 * shamed me she felt terrible about it

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 * yeah absolutely and of course the gypsy

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 * woman as I'm not sure if this is the

06:20
 * case with all demon mythology but

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 * certainly it was in the in this case I

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 * guess this is more of a witch situation

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 * summoning the demon from hell she

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 * grabbed a the button yeah from her

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 * jacket and then with that button she was

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 * able to place the curse on the woman and

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 * man things just really went downhill for

06:38
 * that chick from there

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 * it went very downhill and it's got it

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 * has one of my favorite endings to a

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 * horror movie ever

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 * well it's got that classic it's a

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 * classic you know twist which is so

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 * perfect because her not to get too much

06:51
 * into this film but apparently we are

06:52
 * let's do it

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 * well I I think it's it's important to

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 * talk about it because uh I mean it's up

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 * there with the Paranormal Activity

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 * movies I like said the best demon uh the

07:04
 * best demon horror movies of the last 10

07:06 20 years I mean I totally agree it's 07:09
 * very hard to do the demon movies right

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 * and yeah and Sam Raimi certainly nailed

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 * it with this one so yeah of course the

07:15
 * end is the classic if we're gonna ruin

07:18
 * it for you yeah so uh mute it if you

07:20
 * want to but you've seen the movie

07:22
 * already yeah so pause it now watch the

07:24
 * movie and come back um but of course her

07:28
 * boyfriend played by I forget the name of

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 * the guy yeah it's just one of those

07:31
 * douchey looking guys as a matter of fact

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 * he's the del got no not the del guy he's

07:35
 * the PC guy yes yeah john hodgman is the

07:38
 * the mac and this or john hodgman is the

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 * pc disguise the mac yes yeah the mac so

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 * he's a stallion of a fella easy he's got

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 * this one coin that he's been keeping in

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 * an envelope and so inevitably the coin

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 * and the end the end a button get

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 * confused in the same envelope both

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 * circles around the same weight the same

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 * size so they go through all of the

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 * pizzazz of like getting getting the the

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 * coin you're getting the button to the

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 * grave reversing the curse by putting it

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 * on he'd put it on somebody else didn't

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 * they no they gave it back to the witch

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 * the Witch like she went to the grave and

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 * dug up the witch which is always seen if

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 * any every horror movie needs to have a

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 * dig up the grave scene yeah and it

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 * always has to be raining because God

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 * works in mysterious ways

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 * well the great thing about this movie is

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 * that like you get the feeling from that

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 * scene that this is the life this is the

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 * climax of the movie like its overt she's

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 * you know she's defeated the witch you

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 * know - everything is like they're going

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 * off on a weekend trip they're both so

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 * happy so happy newly in love it's as if

08:40
 * they just started dating again you know

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 * though yeah they're engaged now

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 * everything is so beautiful and perfect

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 * and then of course they're on the train

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 * platform mmm

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 * pulls out the envelope finds out that's

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 * where the button is

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 * so they basically just gave this woman a

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 * nice piece of change yeah you just made

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 * the gypsy woman more money and i knows

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 * gypsies know how to spend coins i don't

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 * know why i don't know what is it well

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 * gypsies only deal in coins yeah it's

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 * very bizarre shillings and things of

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 * that nature they're similar to

09:10
 * leprechauns in that to that degree and

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 * then of course there at the train

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 * station and she realizes the buttons

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 * there looks at her watch I about 13

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 * seconds before you'd be drugged to hell

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 * yes so she grabs on her husband don't

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 * let me go don't let me go all this shit

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 * but what the fuck is he gonna do yeah

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 * he's battling the devil yeah and one of

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 * the devil's many let's call him children

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 * uh and so then of course she gets

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 * drugged down to hell and no one seems to

09:34
 * notice on the platform by the way well

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 * what happens is that she falls onto the

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 * tracks like she falls onto the train

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 * tracks and there's and that gives Raimi

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 * the opportunity to do this amazing shot

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 * where he does the shot like up to the

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 * guy does the shot up to the boyfriend

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 * from below from the train tracks so he

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 * has the shot of him his reaction looking

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 * down at her right and just like this

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 * intense just his entire mind breaks like

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 * he's this man is broken no one else is

10:05
 * gonna see this no and no one else can

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 * see it it's down there and it happens in

10:10
 * the spam a bee takes five seconds five

10:12
 * seconds out earth opens demon comes and

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 * grabs her don't let me go puts her hand

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 * out what the hell is he gonna do Earth

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 * closes and train comes yeah which is

10:21
 * actually pretty fantastic and I think

10:23
 * that's also we'll talk about some horror

10:25
 * and demon ghost stories in a second but

10:28
 * I feel like that's sort of how it

10:28
 * happens the train comes that what's the

10:30
 * human reaction is I guess you got hit by

10:32
 * the train yeah maybe was a suicide

10:33
 * attempt but they never found the body

10:36
 * never found out dot dot what the fuck

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 * happened and it did such it's um rainy

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 * so good at it's like bringing these uh

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 * like doing something new but still

10:45
 * keeping the old conventions of horror

10:48
 * movies right I cuz what he did like as

10:50
 * suit like the train goes and then the

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 * title comes up drag me to hell I love at

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 * the end of the movie and I love that I

10:58
 * love the title at the end of the movie I

11:00
 * just saw insidious and they did the

11:02
 * title at the beginning and the end as

11:03
 * well

11:05
 * yeah we'll talk about insidious a little

11:06
 * bit later but that was pretty fantastic

11:08
 * so Marcus you were saying that you have

11:11
 * you you feel like you've had an

11:13
 * experience with an actual diamond or a

11:15
 * ghost

11:16
 * I saw something whenever I was a kid uh

11:19
 * that I can't explain and it's so vivid

11:23
 * in my memory it's not a dream it's not a

11:26
 * dream it's not it's not a dream it's

11:28
 * just it's something that I absolutely

11:29
 * can't explain where we were you're

11:32
 * growing up in Texas how old were you

11:33
 * when you saw this ah I was somewhere

11:35
 * between like 8 and 10 okay

11:38
 * somewhere around there so I will say the

11:39
 * imagination of an eight-year-old child

11:41
 * can be pretty extreme very extreme but

11:43
 * also when you do see something which I

11:45
 * think it would make everyone always says

11:47
 * oh it would always possesses the

11:49
 * children all this stuff hmm you know

11:51
 * they're open very open to see it and

11:53
 * they also know hey I can let this kids

11:55
 * see me no one's gonna believe them I

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 * mean that's why uncles

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 * you know rape young because no one

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 * believes a child though they I think the

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 * pedophile people believe the children

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 * now yeah they did more about the

12:06
 * pedophilia than they do about the demon

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 * oh we've got to evolve a little bit more

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 * where we're at with with child sex abuse

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 * we need to get with child demon abuse

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 * because these demons are haunting these

12:18
 * poor children so you're eight to ten

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 * years old you're in Texas hanging out

12:21
 * I'm not in the country I'm not home I'm

12:24
 * actually in Lubbock Texas I mean I'm in

12:26
 * a city oh okay yeah I ministered I'm

12:28
 * staying with my cousin James and for

12:31
 * some reason in the middle of the night I

12:33
 * wake up and his bedroom faced the street

12:36
 * and I wake up middle of the night and I

12:40
 * see something out the window like I see

12:43
 * something glowing right but I see some

12:45
 * like this green light and I'm fucking

12:48
 * terrified but I get up and he didn't

12:50
 * live by was it a major street intercept

12:53
 * down no it was a resident it was like a

12:54
 * neighborhood okay now like say is pretty

12:56
 * much like suburbs so your neighborhood I

12:58
 * mean the light the green light didn't

12:59
 * turn yellow and then red

13:01
 * no God no we've established on a plate

13:04
 * was not a stoplight uh and I got up and

13:08
 * I looked out the window and doubt like

13:11
 * he lived on kind of a t-bone Street

13:13
 * where there was a street that was you

13:15
 * know like Tebow t-bone

13:18
 * like there was a street that ran

13:19
 * directly in front of his you know what

13:21
 * I'm saying right uh and I looked out and

13:25
 * there was this I saw this green blob

13:27
 * kind of green blob --is-- type thing but

13:30
 * with the face of a pig and horns of just

13:34
 * sort of like moving slowly towards me I

13:38
 * I and I remember this clear sucking it's

13:41
 * my most vivid childhood memory

13:43
 * wow that's terrifying yeah it was

13:45
 * terrified I've never been it like i ike

13:47
 * it doesn't scare me anymore my it

13:50
 * doesn't scare me

13:52
 * so yes you saw this green blob it was

13:54
 * coming for you with it was it saying

13:55
 * anything it was like Marcus no it was

13:58
 * complete like I heard nothing okay like

14:00
 * that was I didn't hear anything at all

14:02
 * uh but it was it was kind of it seemed

14:05
 * like it was like half form like it was

14:07
 * somewhere in between here and there

14:09
 * did you feel something inside of your

14:11
 * body and then severe intense fear but

14:13
 * you also feel it was kind of like with

14:15
 * you it's so nice oh it was you just were

14:18
 * looking at it it was almost like it

14:20
 * didn't even know I was looking at it hmm

14:23
 * you know I mean like it was just there

14:25
 * so you wonder maybe it's in some other

14:27
 * dimension could it is just like

14:29
 * wandering around and for some reason you

14:31
 * had a small little gateway window into

14:33
 * it before I saw the great eye hole I saw

14:36
 * the green Pig devil ha ha ha the green

14:39
 * big devil yeah yeah sounds like an

14:41
 * amazing demon I mean that's the thing I

14:43
 * take I I do a wooden one reason I love

14:46
 * demons and ghosts is because there is a

14:48
 * with the recent poll I have it up here

14:50
 * somewhere I forget there's a Gallup poll

14:52
 * in 2009 32% of Americans believe in

14:57
 * ghosts legitimately death which and

14:59
 * demons which that's a fairly high number

15:01
 * of people I mean you know what is that

15:04
 * let's say damn near two out of five yeah

15:07
 * just about people so you would imagine

15:08
 * they would have had some experience with

15:10
 * them in one way or another I know I'd

15:12
 * expect it to be higher honestly well I

15:14
 * get that's the thing I mean there's a

15:16
 * lot of skeptics out there and of course

15:18
 * I mean I think we're all one of them I

15:19
 * had one I guess it was a ghost

15:22
 * experience growing up I grew up very

15:24
 * religious mm-hmm and so remember I was

15:26
 * very fat toes in seventh grade and I

15:29
 * just really wanted to lose a lot of

15:31
 * weight

15:31
 * like that so I was lying down in bed I

15:33
 * was at my uncle's house and what was it

15:35
 * deaf someplace in Minnesota I forget the

15:37
 * name of the town and I just got this

15:39
 * overwhelming feeling of peace which was

15:42
 * really bizarre

15:42
 * yeah and sure enough two months later I

15:44
 * lost a hundred pounds Wow

15:45
 * I didn't imagine you feeling peace ever

15:47
 * I know I know this is before the booze

15:50
 * and comedy yeah um and yes I mean I but

15:54
 * it really did feel like there was

15:55
 * something else in the room and it was

15:56
 * almost like whispering like you're gonna

15:57
 * be fine all of these very bizarre things

16:00
 * yeah which i think is the closest I've

16:01
 * ever come to actually like meeting a

16:03
 * spirit or a ghost and it was bizarre

16:05
 * because it felt very real yeah and it

16:08
 * was just like and then I woke up and

16:10
 * they woke up like extremely refreshed

16:11
 * but it wasn't a dream I mean this was

16:13
 * before I fell asleep yeah or maybe it

16:15
 * was a dream I have no idea but I mean I

16:16
 * don't it wasn't a dream I'm fairly

16:18
 * certain of that you know that's the only

16:19
 * other you never hear the positive ghost

16:21
 * stories the only thing that I can think

16:22
 * of it's even close to those never that

16:24
 * Ghost gave Dan Aykroyd a blowjob in

16:26
 * ghostbusters and you know what demons

16:28
 * could just come and just be sucking

16:29
 * dicks all over town I'm sure they would

16:31
 * be because that's probably the sin that

16:32
 * sent them down to hell in the beginning

16:33
 * I'd imagine so you know I had a friend

16:36
 * of mine I his name was Pete he became an

16:38
 * evangelical Christian over this I

16:40
 * haven't spoken to him in a little while

16:41
 * but I think he's running a church now

16:43
 * and one of the major reasons that he

16:45
 * converted to Christianity was because he

16:48
 * swore that he saw a demon or a ghost

16:50
 * floating over a bridge okay and the

16:54
 * event like he called me it was all

16:56
 * emotional it was a huge wreck and he

16:58
 * took the events so seriously that he

17:00
 * completely changed his life I don't

17:01
 * think he drank after that have her again

17:03
 * raizy so I mean there is something to

17:05
 * these ghost stories and to these sort of

17:07
 * like demon situations that I mean people

17:09
 * really get affected by them they really

17:11
 * do I mean we had a like back home like

17:14
 * you know you know kid teenagers love the

17:17
 * ghost stories and they loved the haunted

17:18
 * houses and we were no different we had

17:20
 * as children cemetery Oh perfect our town

17:25
 * it was great and it was all children of

17:28
 * like pioneers and settlers you know all

17:30
 * kids you know like all kids that died

17:32
 * whenever and there only died dressed to

17:36
 * terrify yeah I mean a pioneer children

17:38
 * that's a whole nother level of horror oh

17:40
 * it is uh and there was a house some dumb

17:44
 * motherfucker

17:45
 * I don't know why built a house right

17:48
 * across the road in about 200 yards down

17:50
 * kaki very cocky and whoa people they did

17:55
 * not last long in there I imagine that I

17:57
 * would tell you my advice to you if if

18:00
 * Zelda Rubinstein is your realtor not you

18:04
 * cannot buy any house this plot this all

18:06
 * sounds 2 bedroom 3 file well it sounds

18:10
 * nice is there a cemetery

18:13
 * absolutely that's what I'm looking for

18:15
 * that's old yeah and there were all kinds

18:19
 * of great ghost stories about this place

18:20
 * like they said that uh and it was so

18:23
 * weird because like the ghost stories

18:24
 * didn't really match up with a children's

18:26
 * cemetery it was all adult ghosts like

18:29
 * there was a like they would hear things

18:31
 * like they would hear poker games going

18:35
 * on downstairs really yeah they would

18:37
 * hear poker games going on downstairs

18:38
 * that go down nothing going on they had

18:41
 * radios that would turn on and play old

18:43
 * timey music when they weren't plugged in

18:45
 * that's era and the weirdest thing and I

18:48
 * heard I heard this one for myself was a

18:51
 * friend of Oh before I tell this one

18:53
 * there was another cassette - I have two

18:55
 * cassette tape stories on this one the

18:57
 * first one is these two guys were like

19:01
 * these guys I know they're not lying

19:02
 * because they didn't have enough

19:03
 * imagination or the smarts to make this

19:05
 * all right like Kyle's or animals and I'm

19:08
 * a person with your pals and then a ghost

19:11
 * came into my house well what was that he

19:14
 * goes Jay all right

19:16
 * they were driving past I'd Ellis

19:18
 * cemetery one night and they were

19:19
 * listening to a cassette tape and right

19:22
 * as they went by the cemetery the

19:24
 * cassette tape started playing backwards

19:26
 * on Blake and me it immediately just

19:29
 * stopped and started playing backwards it

19:32
 * was ridiculous and read about I mean

19:34
 * that's the thing and that's the thing

19:35
 * that is always so funny to me about

19:37
 * Ouija boards everyone thinks that that's

19:39
 * the what summons the devil but really if

19:41
 * you were a demon or a ghost the way the

19:43
 * communicate would be through the radio

19:45
 * yeah through a cell phone through any

19:47
 * sort of electric current not a fucking

19:48
 * piece of wood know that you roll around

19:50
 * to fake a little thing on not at all now

19:52
 * there's modern we used to have a Ouija

19:54
 * board growing up

19:55
 * all of my friends we were super into it

19:57
 * and I went to Catholic school as a

19:59
 * matter of fact my freshman year of high

20:00
 * school father Steve allowed us to watch

20:03
 * The Exorcist Wow but not as a fictional

20:06
 * movie he believed it was real yeah and

20:10
 * so we literally had like an entire

20:12
 * quarter just about the devil from The

20:15
 * Exorcist which was awesome that is great

20:18
 * it was the first time I ever was like

20:20
 * Catholic schools okay you know these

20:22
 * people are insane completely insane yeah

20:24
 * but uh but yeah it was a blast

20:26
 * and so we had a Ouija board and we were

20:29
 * able to summon this demon called Deb Deb

20:31
 * and maybe we just never let him or her

20:34
 * finish her name but we just went with

20:36
 * Deb Deb yeah and I'm telling you man we

20:38
 * really the first one who ended up

20:40
 * burning yeah and then we ended up

20:42
 * burning the Ouija board because it was

20:44
 * terrified my used to scare the cat the

20:46
 * lightest literally used to flicker I

20:48
 * mean we were young but it would move

20:49
 * around we were we were in high school so

20:52
 * we weren't like that young so we would

20:54
 * move around and at one point my friend

20:56
 * Josh Kahn's you know he was just being a

20:58
 * little schmuck yeah I'm realizing the

21:00
 * power of the Deb Deb demon beast woman

21:02
 * or man I'm not sure what Deb Deb is yeah

21:05
 * and he started farting on it you know so

21:09
 * throwing Doritos on it chips uh you know

21:13
 * any sort of puffed corn product same

21:16
 * things you know real Deb Deb all this

21:18
 * jazz so uh you know but an hour later

21:21
 * Josh leaves he goes into his big you

21:23
 * know green Pontiac he's driving down a

21:25
 * Wisconsin Road and Deb Deb tells us you

21:29
 * know Josh she's gonna die

21:31
 * Wow kill Josh Kahn's so as Josh is

21:34
 * driving we come to find out the day

21:37
 * after he's driving on the road first of

21:40
 * all deer darts in front of him but

21:41
 * that's okay that happens yeah uh and

21:43
 * then on an oncoming car this is a

21:45
 * two-lane highway oncoming car I would

21:47
 * say about two hundred yards away just

21:50
 * cuts off his lights you know just

21:52
 * playing the game just like cuts off his

21:53
 * left which which is you know they might

21:55
 * have been playing the game you know if

21:57
 * you flash me then we turn around and

21:58
 * kill you yeah nonetheless that could

22:00
 * have been you know Deb Deb's planned for

22:02
 * his death I have no idea demons work in

22:04
 * mysterious ways much like God absolutely

22:06
 * they sort of are gods

22:08
 * gray and so that happens and then next

22:11
 * thing you know is windshield wipers

22:13
 * start turning on going crazy he ends up

22:17
 * having to pull over into a ditch just

22:19
 * terrified of everything and the next day

22:22
 * he was totally convinced that Deb Deb

22:24
 * was real he was saying I forget oh my

22:27
 * goodness I should really try to contact

22:28
 * him for the and give you a more in-depth

22:31
 * story because there were some other

22:32
 * things that were happening to him that

22:34
 * were just completely bizarre and so that

22:38
 * was one event that we had with that

22:40
 * Ouija board

22:40
 * and shortly after that we ended up going

22:43
 * taking it to the woods there was this

22:44
 * old abandoned shatner loved abandoned

22:47
 * checks in the woods yeah exactly and you

22:49
 * know it hadn't been used in forever

22:50
 * although you know all of us kids I think

22:52
 * the kids before us put pentagrams all

22:54
 * over it yeah yeah it always like a burnt

22:56
 * it was half burnt down so we would play

22:58
 * with the Ouija board in there and we had

23:00
 * a we had a DB a CD player you know hmm

23:03
 * and so we would tell the thing now all

23:05
 * the remotes keep in mind all the remotes

23:07
 * were on the table so no one was touching

23:10
 * the remotes and the swear to God it

23:11
 * would start changing songs over and it

23:13
 * wasn't on shuffle but we truly believed

23:16
 * that it was real and then we went back

23:18
 * to Pete's house and we burned it in the

23:20
 * parking lot no it was the driveway of

23:22
 * his house I mean it's a the other story

23:25
 * that that was from that house the other

23:28
 * cassette story was a friend of mine

23:30
 * found this found a cassette tape in this

23:34
 * house that was just an old man reciting

23:37
 * mary had a little lamb over and over all

23:40
 * that is so terror and then he would just

23:41
 * throw in then every once while he get

23:43
 * angry and just like Mary Helen Mary had

23:46
 * a fucking little lamb Wow a little lamb

23:49
 * well he says why it's no I mean it it's

23:53
 * just bizarre like how like how did an

23:56
 * old man like record that and then just

23:58
 * visit the house and throw it down like

24:00
 * it was the weirdest fucking shit ever

24:03
 * why he's like a possession situation

24:05
 * doesn't it mm-hmm

24:06
 * seems like it I mean that was a scare it

24:08
 * was the scariest fucking house ever I

24:10
 * mean I loved it yeah of course and the

24:12
 * other people had left the how the people

24:14
 * who live there had left the house so

24:16
 * quickly that we went in there so

24:19
 * furniture in the house we found a

24:21
 * a new suit in the closet with tags still

24:24
 * on really yeah like the tat like they

24:27
 * hadn't even they didn't even finish

24:28
 * moving out of the house really they just

24:31
 * they just got you know essentials and

24:34
 * got the fuck out of there I mean you

24:36
 * know people don't just do that no so

24:39
 * yeah eyes a house and buys a nice suit

24:41
 * and buys a whole series of things those

24:43
 * from Dillard's but still well Dillard's

24:45
 * is one of the finest stores in Texas

24:47
 * I've heard great things about Diller I

24:49
 * mean it must be something pretty

24:52
 * traumatic to the psyche if they're just

24:54
 * like I am out of here

24:55
 * yeah I don't want anything to do with

24:56
 * house I'm gonna eat you know however

24:57
 * much money they spent on the house just

24:59
 * eat it because you can't you know resale

25:01
 * in the house

25:01
 * no you know I mean that's the thing I

25:04
 * think that these you know these people

25:06
 * who get possessed they kind of get a bad

25:10
 * rap yeah cuz it's it's tough it's you

25:13
 * don't want to believe them because if

25:15
 * you believe them then you have to

25:16
 * completely change your entire worldview

25:17
 * and you know you have to stop doing meth

25:21
 * in the back rooms at shady bars in New

25:23
 * York City God knows you don't want to

25:25
 * get sent to hell although if you did

25:27
 * have an option of living a good pious

25:29
 * life and becoming an angel or living a

25:31
 * fantastic life such as the one that we

25:33
 * live and becoming a demon what do you

25:34
 * choose uh well you know just demons just

25:37
 * seem to have more fun they do seem to

25:39
 * have fun here on earth but I have a

25:40
 * feeling their homeland yeah they don't

25:44
 * seem to be having too much of a good

25:45
 * time down there and the only not and

25:47
 * that's the thing I don't think that

25:48
 * humans can become demons well I think

25:51
 * demons demons are I think a fixed thing

25:54
 * well the thing about I just despite I

25:57
 * mean it also I mean depends like you

25:59
 * know it's Freddy Krueger a demon well

26:01
 * that's the thing I mean I would I would

26:03
 * say that he probably is a demon because

26:06
 * he's he's definitely dead and he's

26:08
 * certainly coming back to haunt people

26:10
 * mm-hmm you know in their dreams which I

26:13
 * think that okay yeah here's the thing so

26:15
 * some demons if they're regarded as

26:18
 * spirits they can they can belong to

26:20
 * either classes so they can be a once

26:23
 * human and then turn team and or just

26:25
 * never human and then be demon that seems

26:28
 * to be the overall you gotta do some

26:30
 * pretty bad shit to go demon well I mean

26:33
 * I don't think me and you were going to

26:35
 * go demon just for saying horrible shit

26:37
 * that's true I mean I think you do have

26:39
 * to do some terrible things on earth in

26:42
 * order to have your life your afterlife

26:45
 * you know being being forced to continue

26:48
 * on torturing and maybe maybe the torture

26:51
 * for them is the fact that they have to

26:52
 * stay here on earth could be and still

26:55
 * deal with people yeah you know it's like

26:57
 * you hated people on earth you killed

26:59
 * fifteen thousand of them but now for the

27:01
 * all eternity you gotta hang out with

27:03
 * people and keep killing them always you

27:04
 * know I'd rather just be a ghost or an

27:07
 * angel and just never have to come back

27:09
 * here like say for example uh paranormal

27:13
 * activity

27:14
 * yes demon or ghost well I think we have

27:17
 * classic demon I think it's a classic

27:19
 * demon situation then because it

27:22
 * well they explain it in the movie they

27:24
 * think it's a demon yeah and I think

27:26
 * there's even they even bring up books

27:28
 * and everything right right right and I

27:30
 * agree I think you know it's got those

27:31
 * well it's gonna get it's funny used a

27:33
 * green pig face because it has those big

27:35
 * claws yeah or what are the horse claws I

27:38
 * guess more like go goat their claws yeah

27:41
 * classic classic devil goat goats feet so

27:45
 * certainly in paranormal those are

27:47
 * definitely that's definitely to be a

27:48
 * demon mmm it's kind of been dead I don't

27:50
 * you what do you have to do to appease

27:52
 * the demon that's the question that I

27:54
 * can't I don't think they're I don't

27:56
 * think there really is any appeasement

27:57
 * they're only here to make your life

28:01
 * miserable is that the that's pretty I

28:03
 * think they just pick you that seems so

28:06
 * bizarre to me yeah for no real reason I

28:08
 * mean I'll tell you these this uh another

28:11
 * good movie that deals with it is a wreck

28:13
 * and wreck to which I owe wreck is

28:16
 * amazing that's incredible I've never

28:18
 * seen wreck two will wreck two is also

28:20
 * very good but uh yeah they uh remade it

28:23
 * in America's quarantine yeah quarantine

28:25
 * which is which is fine ever saw it well

28:28
 * you know it's a it's your classic story

28:30
 * with the thing people going into a space

28:33
 * and you know you have no idea what's

28:34
 * going on and then the when the

28:37
 * government acquires your building nine

28:40
 * out of ten times it's a nuclear

28:42
 * situation yeah but one other ten times a

28:44
 * demons in that fucking building and

28:46
 * that's really what you have to be care

28:48
 * with yeah and it was yeah just men this

28:51
 * never I never knew the Spanish could

28:53
 * pull off a horror movie like that well I

28:55
 * mean have you seen how they live I think

28:56
 * that it's perfect and also going back to

28:59
 * Catholicism no one's more Spanish or

29:02
 * nomads like than Spanish people that is

29:04
 * true and they really really believe it

29:06
 * as far as as far as it being true and I

29:10
 * think that's what gives the demon all of

29:12
 * its power and which i think is also

29:14
 * probably why they just attacked children

29:16
 * because children believe that they're

29:18
 * real as an adult I kind of want them to

29:20
 * be real yeah but at the same time if I

29:22
 * saw a demon and be like oh my God look

29:24
 * at you there but just demon out just

29:26
 * being a demon that's pretty cool so if

29:29
 * it's theoretically they can't actually

29:32
 * do anything to hurt or hurt you until he

29:35
 * get you to hell right uh well I mean the

29:37
 * girl and paranormal activity could sure

29:39
 * as fuck hurt her yeah that's true

29:41
 * and she she had said she got some

29:43
 * physical shape she got dragged around

29:45
 * she got thrown around a little bit

29:46
 * that's true I'm a big guy though you're

29:48
 * a very big guy but I don't think demons

29:50
 * have any like strength ceilings yeah

29:53
 * they just have nonstop yeah they they

29:55
 * can do anything they want hell I could

29:56
 * probably rip off your arms they like can

29:58
 * they do that I don't know I mean is

30:00
 * there really can we think of any uh

30:03
 * movies in which the demon itself

30:06
 * actually can inflict physical harm upon

30:10
 * the victims

30:11
 * well I'm thinking the Hellraiser I guess

30:15
 * pinhead is technically a Dean I think oh

30:16
 * I think pinhead is uh one of the best

30:19
 * examples of a demon yeah and so he can

30:21
 * certainly you know he just takes

30:22
 * people's skins right off man

30:24
 * yeah John I mean to who the guy who did

30:26
 * the special effects in Hellraiser is not

30:29
 * the same guy to the special effects in

30:31
 * the thing uh who would that be John

30:34
 * Carpenter no no he wasn't this bad like

30:36
 * John Carter was the director right uh

30:38
 * but I think it's the same guy because

30:40
 * the special about Jeannie is I think I

30:42
 * thought Tom Savini was broke really big

30:44
 * with the thing hmm but I don't know I

30:48
 * don't think Tom Savini did the thing all

30:49
 * right it's possible that he didn't yeah

30:51
 * okay I can't remember the guys name but

30:53
 * I think it's the same but yeah uh I mean

30:55
 * really just Hellraiser there are so many

30:57
 * terrifying moments in the first two the

31:00
 * first to move

31:01
 * it's like it's like one really long

31:04
 * movie

31:04
 * I love about him the first two are

31:06
 * fantastic the man smoking with no skin

31:08
 * dollars like there's a great a great

31:10
 * quote here from one of the cent abite

31:13
 * Cenobites which it's amazing it it makes

31:15
 * me hungry for Cinnabons is really what

31:17
 * it does I feel like a santa bite should

31:19
 * have a lot of cinnamon into perhaps a

31:20
 * nice little frosting atop them uh he

31:23
 * says no tears please it's a waste of

31:26
 * good suffering uh which that is

31:28
 * absolutely terrifying

31:30
 * Oh to think about and then the voice of

31:33
 * pinhead like that guy's voice I mean it

31:36
 * was very peaceful and comforting which i

31:38
 * think is interesting you think it's

31:40
 * piece on cut like I will decide you see

31:42
 * where you say to be aware you can see

31:43
 * it's peaceful in comfort it's at home

31:45
 * it's calm yeah it's very calm but it's

31:48
 * got that that little bit of rasp to it

31:50
 * like that guy fucking honed that mic he

31:53
 * owns that fuckin voice oh yeah no easy I

31:56
 * mean I if there are demons in real life

31:59
 * there's no way they're gonna be messing

32:01
 * with him no I'm sure it'll be like when

32:04
 * we you know got into the entertainment

32:06
 * business and then you see that it's all

32:08
 * you know BS and everyone's actually kind

32:10
 * of an asshole I assume there's a demon

32:12
 * down there in hell is just like love the

32:14
 * Hellraiser series yeah and they're like

32:15
 * I got to go meet pin it I got it I got a

32:17
 * see pin and I gotta see what he's all

32:18
 * about and then as soon as he sees him

32:20
 * taking off the makeup and he realizes

32:22
 * the the nails aren't real and it's a

32:24
 * white makeup and it's just some British

32:26
 * dude I mean it's got to be devastatingly

32:28
 * sad for that poor demon boy has to be

32:31
 * then he watches Little Nicky and he's

32:32
 * like they're making fun of me ha ha ha

32:34
 * so that's not good whatsoever the worst

32:37
 * of the worst representation of demons

32:39
 * you could ever have you think a little

32:40
 * Nicky I think I think a little Nikki

32:42
 * kind of - it takes takes kind of takes

32:44
 * the wind out of the sails on the demon

32:45
 * boat

32:47
 * I've eaten stuff to say at the same time

32:49
 * you know it's a nice it's a nice little

32:51
 * picture and it involved Ozzy Osbourne

32:54
 * yeah so it's nice to give Ozzy Osbourne

32:56
 * a little bit of work but you know

32:58
 * they're still making them all over town

32:59
 * and I think the demon films they're sort

33:02
 * of they're back in vogue again and we

33:04
 * can credit paranormal activity and 1 & 2

33:07
 * for that so the new film insidious is a

33:11
 * definitely riding that demon wave and

33:13
 * surprisingly

33:15
 * was made by the makers of saw and the

33:17
 * makers of paranormal activity which I

33:20
 * thought was going to be very very

33:21
 * interesting because I wanted to see you

33:23
 * know how polar opposite of horror styles

33:25
 * you know can really come together in one

33:27
 * film and I'm usually not like a huge

33:29
 * person like from people who brought you

33:31
 * dot dot dot but in this case I thought

33:33
 * it was sort of a it was interesting to

33:34
 * see I was interested to see how they

33:36
 * would mix the subtle subconscious

33:37
 * storytelling of paranormal activity with

33:39
 * like the over the top like borderline

33:42
 * cartoonish uh antics of saw you know I

33:45
 * mean held jigsaw is a cartoon character

33:47
 * exactly I mean jigsaw is such a

33:49
 * ludicrous little beast man yeah compared

33:52
 * to the demon that's in paranormal

33:53
 * activity but you know to some degree it

33:56
 * looks like jigsaw is don't look for

33:57
 * damage but the demon and paranormal did

34:01
 * fairly well as well yeah um so uh yeah

34:04
 * well watch the movie there was

34:05
 * definitely some camera shots that were

34:07
 * stolen straight from paranormal yeah

34:10
 * there was the you know the room shots

34:12
 * were just be like solid room room room

34:15
 * really taking their time like

34:17
 * everything's fine here you know sort of

34:19
 * a situation and then of course they had

34:21
 * this the straight on shot of the couple

34:23
 * in bed just being like so we are the

34:24
 * happiest people on earth and our lives

34:26
 * could not get any better

34:28
 * and then they definitely had a lot of

34:30
 * like the saw um over the top reveals as

34:34
 * well because you know saw leaves nothing

34:36
 * to the imagination and so in this film

34:39
 * they definitely show demons in their

34:41
 * full form they had a child demon who was

34:43
 * like a small popper look like an oozy

34:46
 * young gentleman I don't know what the

34:48
 * news he was discussing but apparently

34:50
 * there's still a depression going on and

34:54
 * and so that was in it was an interesting

34:58
 * duality there between the scary you know

35:01
 * subliminal in the shadows and like the

35:03
 * over-the-top like in-your-face demon the

35:05
 * only one demon that I didn't like was

35:07
 * this uh you know leather jacket and jet

35:09
 * black hair and he just looked like it

35:12
 * sounds holy in eighth grade sounds kind

35:14
 * of like a second-rate Undertaker yeah

35:16
 * that's exactly what he was like so other

35:18
 * than that demon I thought all the other

35:20
 * demons were pretty good so basically the

35:23
 * story is just about a kid his name is

35:25
 * Dalton and he fella

35:29
 * deep into this coma and doctors have no

35:31
 * idea why he's in a coma if he's anything

35:33
 * like me he just loves to sleep very

35:36
 * important so his parents their Josh and

35:39
 * Renee they go to the doctor I you know

35:41
 * nothing's going well finally they take

35:43
 * him home and just put him upstairs and

35:45
 * then immediately demons just start

35:47
 * running amuck throughout the house but

35:50
 * the fella Josh he's a teacher so he's

35:52
 * hard at work all day grading papers but

35:54
 * you know it's like he's on the phone

35:56
 * with her and in the middle of a you know

35:57
 * an empty classroom real like honey I got

35:59
 * this got so much work to do and it's

36:01
 * like you know the answer key just mark

36:05
 * the things go home and help your wife

36:07
 * which be haunted by terrible children

36:09
 * demon ghosts so um yeah so anyway

36:14
 * inevitably it's like the father finally

36:16
 * believes that the demons are in the

36:18
 * house so they just move out like

36:20
 * immediately like we were talking earlier

36:21
 * about the home in Texas you know they

36:24
 * leave their clothes there just like we

36:26
 * are out of here we are going to a place

36:29
 * that isn't going to drag me straight to

36:31
 * hell and very gypsy gypsy is move very

36:35
 * quick and but of course at the second

36:37
 * home the hauntings just get worse and

36:39
 * worse and they finally call in a

36:42
 * paranormal expert named Elise who is

36:44
 * played by one of my favorite actresses

36:46
 * of all time Lin Shaye of the Farrelly

36:48
 * Brothers movie the Farrelly Brothers you

36:50
 * might recognize her very wrinkled and

36:52
 * wounded bosoms that they showed in that

36:55
 * film obviously not actually hers but

36:57
 * that was the first time I've ever seen

36:59
 * breasts in a film it was like ah now Oh

37:00
 * God that's sad that's that when that

37:03
 * happens to women so Eddie you know she's

37:07
 * in there doing you know or paranormal

37:09
 * stuff she has her you know the the

37:11
 * devices that read energy and they're

37:13
 * going oh she had an EKG meter EKG meter

37:15
 * yeah there was a small camera behind a

37:17
 * small camera team behind them and just

37:20
 * recorded them no no yet exist like ghost

37:25
 * hunters and uh and which is also amazing

37:30
 * I will say that whatever bullshit show

37:31
 * oh it's such a terrible show it just

37:33
 * disproves the existence of ghosts yeah

37:35
 * absolutely ridiculous it's like saying

37:38
 * no people are amazing look how good

37:40
 * people are to one another and then like

37:42
 * going to Darfur what look at an example

37:45
 * of how wonderful humanity is um so

37:49
 * anyhow you know so she's walking through

37:52
 * the the two great comedic actors are her

37:56
 * like minions who are recording their

37:58
 * like out of over the top you know

38:00
 * retarded people and I think the point of

38:02
 * the director was trying to make was that

38:04
 * those people on those ghost hunter shows

38:06
 * are ridiculous

38:07
 * yeah and completely flawed and other

38:10
 * retard somehow nerdier than we are

38:12
 * somehow which i think is pretty

38:14
 * fantastic I mean they recorded on tape

38:16
 * on visual well that's the thing we don't

38:19
 * actually go anywhere like we just come

38:21
 * out to Long Island City and do this I

38:23
 * mean it's not like we're carrying

38:24
 * anything anywhere yeah it's not like

38:26
 * we're in an office that looks like a

38:28
 * coffin yeah Ouija boards all over the

38:30
 * place and swords voodoo dolls no we're

38:33
 * totally normal people so uh so beautiful

38:37
 * busted breasted lin shaye she looks

38:40
 * around and she realizes you know there's

38:42
 * definitely demons about and then she

38:44
 * presents this idea about the further mm

38:47
 * and long story short about the kid it's

38:50
 * not even a reveal because it's in the

38:52
 * previews yeah which I hate the marketing

38:54
 * for this movie by the way yeah I saw

38:56
 * there's a posters are all over the the

38:58
 * trains are they like it's like it's not

39:01
 * just the house that's haunted and it's

39:03
 * like why are you telling me that because

39:05
 * then you know 45 minutes into the film

39:07
 * when that point is revealed you're like

39:09
 * I know yeah I totally know this it's on

39:12
 * every poster for this film yeah but

39:15
 * anyway a mild hook on that is the kid

39:19
 * you know the kids in something called

39:21
 * the further his soul is a traveler which

39:23
 * you know whatever yeah you know the

39:25
 * father finds out that he's a traveler

39:27
 * and so he you know realizes he was once

39:30
 * haunted as a child long story short he

39:32
 * goes over to the further confronts all

39:34
 * the demons there is a fantastic homage

39:36
 * to the original Nightmare on Elm Street

39:37
 * with the main demon who does look much

39:40
 * like Darth Maul the most creative makeup

39:43
 * job ever but you know truly terrifying

39:46
 * to some degree they do a fantastical

39:48
 * Majda Nightmare on Elm Street the very

39:50
 * beginning sequence when Freddy is

39:52
 * sharpening his claw they have the exact

39:54
 * same camera angle

39:55
 * it's just the demon claw on there which

39:58
 * was great and uh it was a I would I

40:02
 * wouldn't want to meet the demon yeah I

40:04
 * would want to meet I would almost it's

40:06
 * not to say if I'd want to be Freddy or

40:08
 * the demon more I think Freddy I might

40:10
 * want to meet just because he might get

40:11
 * you off yeah you know he might trapped

40:14
 * reading depending on the mood that he

40:16
 * was in yeah you know sometimes men like

40:18
 * blowjobs sometimes men like to eat a

40:20
 * lady out hopefully Freddy would be in

40:22
 * the mood to eat me out so overall I

40:25
 * would say this is a fantastic film it's

40:26
 * scary I give it three out of four fats

40:29
 * yeah which is good yeah yeah that's a

40:32
 * three out of four fats is one yeah three

40:34
 * out of four fats so it's almost obese

40:36
 * we'll give it I'll give it a montana

40:38
 * housewife nearly obvious but just then

40:41
 * enough to stay married to the fellow who

40:42
 * makes 150,000 a year but I would say be

40:45
 * careful if you're on a date girls find

40:47
 * these films very very scary if she goes

40:50
 * down on here she might bite off the old

40:52
 * wean mmm there are some moments of fear

40:54
 * so I think the film found a good middle

40:56
 * ground between the saw and paranormal

40:57
 * activity my only complaint no bosom no

41:01
 * that's it well I mean there's a lot of

41:03
 * kids like that whenever there's like

41:05
 * well yeah in the movie then usually the

41:08
 * tits aren't gonna come out if you think

41:10
 * that's an overall theme I think that's

41:11
 * an overall theme I guess so but well

41:14
 * what movie broke them with six cents no

41:16
 * breasts at all yeah I think also dana

41:17
 * says no breasts at all oh that's true I

41:20
 * mean then again I don't know if I want

41:22
 * to see any one of those characters

41:23
 * bosoms I know the mom was alright the

41:25
 * mom was alright and that older elderly

41:27
 * priest fella yeah I imagine he had some

41:30
 * pretty good buzz UM's go and probably

41:31
 * look like lyndshane fucking whatever

41:35
 * Something About Mary yeah as a great

41:38
 * film all right well I guess we're gonna

41:39
 * wrap up this second episode of the last

41:41
 * podcast on my lap let's do it absolutely

41:43
 * all about demons next week I think we're

41:45
 * gonna talk God knows what they know who

41:48
 * know looser leading ladies of film and

41:51
 * more film

41:52
 * well you better stay tuned to listen to

41:54
 * the last podcast on the web

41:56
 * [Music]