Episode 16: Creepypasta/Transcript

00:00
 * there's no place to escape to this is

00:03
 * the last podcast on the left that's one of

00:09
 * the cannibalism started welcome to the

00:16
 * program ladies and gentlemen this is the

00:17
 * last podcast on the left that was a

00:20
 * beautiful beautiful little tune sung by

00:23
 * the two most attractive gentlemen I've

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 * ever seen I only say that because today

00:26
 * we're recording in the dark and later on

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 * but in the dark

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 * ah absolutely this is amazing for Marcus

00:33
 * Parks I've been Kissel how are you mr.

00:35
 * scientist Oh

00:38
 * cowabunga oh yeah yeah it's my what did

00:42
 * I do hold McNeeley fucking stupid

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 * catchphrase I don't know man I hate that

00:46
 * that I did that I know it sucks and it's

00:48
 * like in my fucking head now yeah it's

00:50
 * forever gonna live on the Internet yeah

00:51
 * like Holden will listen to this and he's

00:53
 * probably just gonna get a huge erection

00:55
 * if you don't know Holden gives him one

00:57
 * cappy's me mookie boo so he talks to

01:01
 * himself speaking of the Internet today

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 * we are focusing on the horror world that

01:06
 * exists online and you know if the

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 * Internet has given us nothing other than

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 * pornography it has given us horror yes

01:12
 * and uh there are stories that live

01:14
 * online now that were that were lost on

01:16
 * many many generations of children and

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 * now we get to read them again and

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 * they're fresh in the renewed and they're

01:22
 * instilling terror and fear into an

01:24
 * entirely new group of youths so the best

01:26
 * part is that maybe not the best part

01:29
 * probably technically the worst part but

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 * there's a lot of fake horror you know

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 * there's a lot of core stuff that's just

01:34
 * like there to scare you and it's fun

01:35
 * yeah but the thing about the internet

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 * too is because it's an anonymous way of

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 * communicating if you want to be

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 * especially on 4chan the fucking dark

01:43
 * seedy underbelly of the internet that if

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 * you go on random on 4chan like you'll

01:49
 * see certain stuff where it's you know

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 * you'll see you know porn and then yeah

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 * can you explain to the audience it the

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 * number folks I was trying to find it I

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 * literally number 4chan CH a n fits for

01:59
 * chant 4chan org and then you get to the

02:02
 * random you have to scroll down and click

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 * on random and it's called B being by the

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 * way it's a lot like it's nowhere near as

02:08
 * bad as it used to be no I know that I

02:10
 * remember it all was it like

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 * those rotten dot-coms it's worse than

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 * that the worst is that if in the in the

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 * it's just like the last place where you

02:19
 * know you you go in there and you'll see

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 * you know a girl squirting which is fine

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 * you know you'll see porn that's good and

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 * then you'll see a guy's fucking hand in

02:28
 * a shredder and then you'll see somebody

02:30
 * with like you'll see a decapitated head

02:32
 * boy like words like squirting blood

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 * though so it's still pretty hot it's

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 * pretty hot no but like you'll see you

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 * know they have like I was scrolling

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 * through there the other day and it's

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 * just lots of like execution videos like

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 * they like we're all the writing that

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 * leaks from like Al Jazeera of like

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 * people being held at murder on tape

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 * perhaps this is one of the the websites

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 * that broke the the Pearl Daniel Pearl

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 * when he was beheaded yeah that is a that

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 * it's definitely existed on 4chan so

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 * there ya there is a very true creepy

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 * world that still exists of course right

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 * the internet gives it a voice like that

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 * be on 4chan especially there's just

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 * there's a place there where you can get

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 * it it happens those dark things that

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 * happen and it will say you will record

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 * you want to tread lightly with the real

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 * stuff I never liked the faces of death I

03:19
 * can sit there every single saw I think

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 * the comedies of the year every time you

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 * know I think they're hilarious but when

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 * it comes to the real torture stuff I saw

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 * one beheading and I'll never watch one

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 * again and it sticks with you forever

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 * yeah it's like the Frog I shoot I saw a

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 * guy shoot himself in the face yeah it's

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 * like that video of like the congressman

03:35
 * shooting himself in the page oh the

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 * public when you did it in public yet

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 * when he did it call the cat and also the

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 * person who sent it to me did not tell me

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 * what was gonna happen she was just she

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 * was just like here look at that look at

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 * this and it was boom and I broke up with

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 * her very soon I have a very similar

03:48
 * situation Marcus you sent me a video

03:50
 * called the prune Brothers yeah you had a

03:52
 * chance to google the prune brothers I'll

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 * tell you they they've been helping out

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 * elderly ladies uh who since 2011 w-9

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 * yeah that nine that was a good year for

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 * making people shit so yeah the

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 * Internet's full of real-life horrific

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 * things and uh and it's a it's a

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 * beautiful and there's also some there's

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 * also some fantastic stories that aren't

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 * necessarily disgusting and that's what

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 * we're gonna focus on today which is a

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 * phenomenon known as creepypasta it's old

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 * hat to some new hats for know to have

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 * hats yeah that's creepypasta it's like

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 * it's like when you went over to your

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 * aunt's house and you're like

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 * for dinner and she's like posture hey

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 * maybe I can go today again coming out of

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 * Regina to work exactly um that why is

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 * there why is there pasta in this pubic

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 * hair there's no reason for it just give

04:37
 * me the pubic hair please please you know

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 * how I like to fork it up um but there we

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 * were talking about this too so a lot of

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 * this stuff comes from like it'll be

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 * scary stories that you've heard before

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 * in different form and a lot about the

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 * best part about being being on the

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 * Internet is that when you're home by

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 * yourself and you're stoned or you're

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 * drunk and you're sitting there and you

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 * can just you just creep yourself the

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 * fuck out because there's just so much

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 * more of the way they design it now to

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 * which is so much more like oh my friend

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 * saw this and so it's like this weird

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 * sort of hearsay of course and then you

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 * kind of have the added sort of vagueness

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 * of the Internet where proof is hazy

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 * anyway and it's very tough to tell if

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 * you're going to get somebody getting

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 * shot in the face if you're going to get

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 * Daniel Pearl being beheaded or if you're

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 * gonna get the most adorable kitten

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 * playing with yarn yeah you know so which

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 * is like a okay my bison brothers yeah

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 * you actually just described be

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 * completely that is what that's exactly

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 * what it'll be like kitten kitten vagina

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 * upper blood Pokemon yeah but then it's

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 * before channel so as a board of the

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 * paranormal board which is X which is

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 * looking great just say paranormal I know

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 * it is hidden that's what they just say

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 * just that's okay yeah but the paranormal

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 * board is so fucking interesting because

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 * you just have a lot of you know newfags

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 * if you want to say in terms of just like

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 * people just like looking for attention

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 * and then you'll just have some genuine

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 * really fucked up stuff on there and and

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 * it's a lot of and because they're all

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 * hackers too and a lot of them are just

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 * bored 14 year-olds that go get into

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 * depth with some crazy shit you know like

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 * someone will put up a picture of stuff

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 * like you'll see a lot of like fun or

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 * pictures and like bit like ghost

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 * pictures and so right UFO footage and

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 * all that stuff's a lot of fun and then

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 * you'll see just normal dumb shit I know

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 * I'm of the mind the same thing with like

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 * horror films it's like like the Texas

06:33
 * Chainsaw Massacre The Exorcist people

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 * would be like it's real it's real like

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 * all this stuff and like I don't even

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 * care if it could be

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 * all lies as long as you spin a good yarn

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 * and you really get me scared that's all

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 * that matters that's only one all I want

06:45
 * is to be scared and I think ghosts are

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 * established enough in society and

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 * throughout the history of people that

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 * you know if you don't believe in ghosts

06:53
 * you ain't reading the right books my

06:54
 * friend yeah yeah they get afraid of

06:57
 * ghosts because what if the fucking ghost

06:59
 * is real that's real is gonna help you

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 * well speak it speaking of books I was

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 * reading a lot of this creepy pasta that

07:04
 * you worse enemy and a lot of these where

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 * uh where I first heard like a lot of

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 * these urban legends and like pass down

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 * stories and all that was a book called a

07:13
 * book series called scary stories to tell

07:15
 * in the dark Jeremy the pictures for

07:17
 * pictures where the book your mother read

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 * to you while you were in the womb though

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 * the pictures uh were and still are

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 * absolutely terrified I'm the most

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 * devastatingly scary stuff I used to say

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 * I'd be so late at night and read it and

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 * scare the shit out of myself and I I had

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 * the audio book only imagine like the guy

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 * that was read there was this book called

07:38
 * a martyr this story called Martin it was

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 * about these three this person hanging

07:42
 * out at this house by themselves oh yeah

07:45
 * I primatte and there was like these

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 * three cats that you know this these cats

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 * keep coming and someone just kept saying

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 * just wait til Martin calm and they kept

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 * coming and then eventually Martin is a

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 * gigantic cat and like kills or something

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 * I can nothing it's all I will be as

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 * scary as the bill to yet nothing will be

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 * as scary some weird ass dude saying wait

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 * tell Martin comms just waiting for

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 * Sheneneh yeah you know you got real

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 * crazy I'll get it up are times ever yeah

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 * that's great I am you know I forget I

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 * was gonna say we're eccentric but I like

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 * now to in modern times though is that it

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 * I love that blending of what is real and

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 * what's actually scary because yeah now

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 * there's so much there's so much

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 * weirdness happen because of a 24/7

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 * fucking news cycle and the horrible

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 * things that happen in the world are

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 * constantly broadcast by our news

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 * companies that are desperate for ratings

08:42
 * and attention which is that 30 30 new 30

08:45
 * dead Marines were today and it's always

08:47
 * funny when the news media comes down

08:49
 * we're like we got terrible news breaking

08:50
 * news and you can just see in their

08:52
 * brains ratings or go

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 * now yeah like we love it we absolutely

08:55
 * love salary goes in Afghanistan or the

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 * picture that give the story of this

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 * Hussey guy this Orthodox Jewish guy

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 * picked up a character yeah off the

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 * street and just cut him up in little

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 * pieces just cuz just cuz he was panicked

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 * and then like you know like so there's

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 * all these real-life horror stories that

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 * are already happening that are way out

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 * in the open and that's why for news

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 * I mean ghosts are just like a little hug

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 * from the gods compared to like what

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 * human beings have done to other human

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 * beings I've never once ever heard of a

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 * ghost taking a small Jewish boy chopping

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 * him up and put him in his freezer

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 * because everybody knows ghosts enjoy

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 * warm food I just I love it too and then

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 * but up well so like true life stories

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 * when you hear that just sound like scary

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 * stories like when John Wayne Gacy the

09:40
 * stories of John Wayne Gacy like doing

09:42
 * his magic handcuffs trick magic

09:45
 * handcuffs tricks so fuckin nuts really I

09:48
 * met there like as always like no it's

09:50
 * not magic whatsoever and then he just

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 * fucking hits you the lead pipe and then

09:54
 * those real videos to of real death also

09:56
 * just shows how undramatic death is how

09:59
 * quick and immediate and that you're

10:01
 * alive and bam you're fuckin dead it's

10:03
 * like there's no build-up there's no

10:05
 * suspense you're just fuckin debt which

10:07
 * is also very interesting absolutely John

10:09
 * Wayne Gacy if you get a chance I will

10:11
 * plughole Domini Lee's uh Twitter is that

10:13
 * murderous Twitter again the murder fest

10:15
 * they're doing a fantastic job of just

10:17
 * puttin serial killer quotes up there

10:19
 * which in my opinion that's the that was

10:20
 * the entire reason Twitter was invented

10:22
 * uh and John Wayne Gacy is a great one

10:25
 * that just says the only thing I'm guilty

10:26
 * of is running a unlicensed mortuary

10:28
 * because how twenty eight kids in his

10:30
 * crawlspace that's the only thing that he

10:33
 * could be like I you can get me on that I

10:35
 * can see where I made a mistake there I

10:36
 * should've gone to the proper people I

10:38
 * mean that's the thing so I guess right

10:41
 * now we're gonna want you to go okay this

10:43
 * is serious

10:44
 * we won't yet pause the podcast the

10:46
 * podcast smoke the biggest blunt you can

10:48
 * get the size of a burrito and if you

10:50
 * listen to top at that's a callback

10:51
 * ladies and gentlemen yeah I the size of

10:54
 * a large burrito and just get or

10:57
 * mushrooms

10:58
 * eat a mushroom here I mean like smoke

11:01
 * like drink something shut off all the

11:03
 * lights like this is good if you're by

11:04
 * yourself this isn't a train at

11:06
 * so this is a sitting in your house

11:08
 * episode you know I mean like got a

11:11
 * commute episode yeah so we're gonna

11:13
 * we're gonna read some stories to you

11:15
 * that's right we want to get real with it

11:17
 * and they're just you know they're fun

11:19
 * and I think they are I think some of

11:21
 * them are very true I think some of them

11:23
 * are absolutely real because you just

11:25
 * don't you just don't know all right so

11:26
 * you go get blazed we're gonna sit here

11:28
 * and get blazed and we'll talk to you in

11:29
 * a second okay all right so let's start

11:38
 * this um all right so I'm gonna start

11:41
 * with a with a short true story called

11:43
 * camping all right so here we go a few

11:47
 * months ago a friend of mine who is an

11:48
 * up-and-coming nature photographer

11:50
 * decided to spend a day and night alone

11:51
 * in the woods outside of our town she

11:53
 * wanted to get pictures of the woods and

11:55
 * Wildlife as naturally as she could for

11:57
 * her portfolio she wasn't afraid of being

11:59
 * alone as she had camped by herself many

12:01
 * times before she set up a tent in the

12:03
 * middle of a small clearing and spent the

12:05
 * day taking pictures she filled up four

12:07
 * rolls of film on that trip but when she

12:09
 * went and got them developed she saw four

12:10
 * pictures that unsettled her these four

12:12
 * pictures were taken from inside the tent

12:14
 * of her asleep in the middle of the night

12:17
 * that is awesome

12:20
 * all right this is it this is a story

12:22
 * called the statue a few years ago a

12:28
 * mother and a father decided they needed

12:30
 * a break so they wanted to head out for a

12:33
 * night on the town they called their most

12:36
 * trusted babysitter when the babysitter

12:38
 * arrived the two children were already

12:41
 * fast asleep in bed so the babysitter

12:42
 * just got to sit around and make sure

12:45
 * everything was okay with the children

12:47
 * later than night the baby sort of got

12:50
 * bored and went to watch TV but she

12:53
 * couldn't watch it downstairs because

12:54
 * they didn't have cable downstairs the

12:56
 * parents in want children watched too

12:57
 * much Harbinger so she called them and

13:01
 * asked them if she could watch cable in

13:02
 * the parents room of course

13:04
 * parent said it was okay but the

13:06
 * babysitter had one final request she

13:09
 * asked if she could cover up the angel

13:12
 * statue outside the bedroom window with a

13:14
 * blanket or cloth the very least close

13:17
 * the blinds because it made her nervous

13:20
 * the phone line went silent for a moment

13:23
 * and the father was talking the

13:25
 * babysitter at the time said take the

13:27
 * children and get out of the house we

13:30
 * will call the police we do not have an

13:33
 * angel statue

13:35
 * the police found all three of the house

13:37
 * occupants dead within 10 minutes of the

13:39
 * call no statue was found that is awesome

13:43
 * great all right this is a story called

13:45
 * home alone your home alone and you hear

13:49
 * on the news about the profile of a

13:50
 * murderer who is on the loose you look

13:53
 * out the sliding glass doors to your

13:54
 * backyard

13:55
 * and you notice a man standing out in the

13:57
 * snow he fits the profile of the murderer

13:59
 * exactly and he's smiling at you you go

14:02
 * picking up the phone to your right and

14:04
 * dialing 9-1-1 you look back out the

14:07
 * glass as you press the phone to your ear

14:08
 * and notice he's much closer to you now

14:10
 * you drop the phone in shock there are no

14:13
 * footprints in the snow

14:14
 * it's his reflection here can I read one

14:18
 * more yeah sure one to the right super

14:20
 * quick the tape during summer of 1983 in

14:27
 * a quiet town near Minneapolis Minnesota

14:29
 * the charred body of a woman was found

14:31
 * inside the kitchen stove of a small

14:33
 * farmhouse a video camera was also found

14:37
 * in the kitchen standing on a tripod

14:38
 * pointing at the oven no tape was found

14:42
 * in the camera at the time I remember

14:45
 * reading about the story actually

14:47
 * although the scene was originally

14:49
 * labeled as a homicide by police an

14:51
 * unmarked VHS tape was later discovered

14:54
 * at the bottom of the farms well which

14:56
 * apparently died up earlier that year

14:59
 * despite its warm condition and the fact

15:02
 * that it contained no audio police were

15:05
 * still able to view the contents of the

15:07
 * tape it depicted a woman recording

15:10
 * herself in front of a video camera

15:11
 * seemingly using the same camera the

15:14
 * police found in the kitchen after

15:16
 * positioning camera to include both her

15:18
 * and her kitchen stove in the image the

15:21
 * tape then showed her turning on the oven

15:23
 * opening the door crawling inside and

15:27
 * then closing the door behind her

15:31
 * eight minutes into the video the oven

15:33
 * could be seen shaking violently after

15:36
 * which point thick black smoke could be

15:38
 * seen emanating from it for the remaining

15:41 45 minutes of the video until the 15:43
 * batteries in the camera died it remained

15:45
 * in its stationary position to avoid

15:48
 * disturbing the local community police

15:50
 * never released any information about the

15:51
 * tape or even the fact that it was found

15:54
 * police were also not able to determine

15:57
 * who put the tape and the well worth a

15:59
 * height and stature of the woman in the

16:00
 * video didn't come close to matching the

16:03
 * body they found in the oven whoa that

16:07
 * one's great that's when I read another

16:09
 * story another short one I just got a

16:11
 * quick one that's kind of fun but because

16:14
 * of that alien this ship in the Baltic

16:16
 * Sea think this is kind of this guy Leon

16:19
 * zalga 'he's assassinated assassinate Cho

16:22
 * gosh

16:23
 * shell gosh yeah Leon shell gosh he's the

16:26
 * Sasson of William McKinley the 25th

16:28
 * President United States he was

16:29
 * electrocuted for his crime on October

16:31 29th 1901 at Auburn prison in Auburn New 16:34
 * York among the personal effects found in

16:36
 * his cell was a u.s. quarter stamped with

16:38
 * the date 20 to 18 the face and profile

16:41
 * on said quarter was not George

16:42
 * Washington but rather a face that has

16:44
 * not yet been identified so he is like

16:47
 * from the future man it's William

16:49
 * McKinley do you want to another when

16:51
 * you're going to go into this big one oh

16:53
 * I got a I got one more I guess is and I

16:56
 * love it because it's a it's a bit of an

16:58
 * interest to bind a young man and his new

17:01
 * bride we're honeymooning in Paris when

17:03
 * she sat him down deadly serious and

17:05
 * asked him if he would ever leave her

17:06
 * where she not truly beautiful he laughed

17:09
 * and complimented her figuring she was

17:10
 * just simply being dramatic and wanted to

17:12
 * be told how pretty she was

17:14
 * she then grabbed a cloth and rubbed at

17:16
 * her face wiping off the heavy foundation

17:17
 * she wore and revealing a grotesque

17:19
 * purple birthmark covering nearly her

17:21
 * whole face of course he would still love

17:23
 * her he was a good man but before he

17:25
 * could stop himself he let out a gasp his

17:27
 * wife burst into tears and fled and

17:29
 * hadn't returned by the time the

17:31
 * honeymoon was supposed to end

17:32
 * she had no passport and no money so

17:34
 * fearing the worst the man went to the

17:36
 * police the police thought it was most

17:38
 * likely the girl simply had second

17:39
 * thoughts about the marriage yet due to

17:41
 * the fact she had no official documents

17:42
 * and spoke no French they launched a hunt

17:45
 * nothing ever turned up as weeks turned

17:47
 * into months the man finally gave up on

17:49
 * finding his beautiful wife but his life

17:50
 * Eleanor shambles he was so filled with

17:53
 * grief unable to hold a job or go on with

17:55
 * his life he took to wandering the world

17:57
 * looking for anything that might ease his

17:58
 * pain years later in Borneo he came upon

18:01
 * a freak show in an old shabby building

18:03
 * he went in on a whim and the last filthy

18:06
 * cage he saw a twisted scarred and

18:08
 * mutilated woman rocking back and forth

18:09
 * and groaning strange animal-like noises

18:11
 * he screamed as he recognized the

18:14
 * birthmark on his wife's face nice I love

18:17
 * that one okay how many good ones in here

18:19
 * I kind of like this bad dream one you

18:21
 * want to read one more and then we'll get

18:22
 * into Barbie over time I we we should

18:26
 * probably go get enough skin to pool this

18:28
 * so now this is the thing with this is

18:30
 * Barbie Davey I now this is based upon

18:34
 * real videos that were found we're going

18:38
 * to say we're going to be posting these

18:40
 * videos and as we read this story to you

18:43
 * you're going to want to watch Barbie Evi

18:46
 * part 1 part 2 in part 4 because of the

18:49
 * only ones that exist so I would keep

18:51
 * those running makes sense yeah we'll

18:54
 * have at the very least we'll have links

18:55
 * on a cave comedy radio.com yeah yeah so

18:58
 * do you want me to start yeah give it a

19:00
 * go so this thing happened to me a few

19:04
 * months ago I just need to share with

19:07
 * somebody it'll start it at my friend's

19:09
 * party he's an artist he rented out a

19:12
 * loft in the industrial part of town if

19:14
 * you can picture what a place like

19:15
 * Detroit look like in the 1920s this is

19:18
 * what this area looks like a bunch of old

19:20
 * turn-of-the-century factories crammed

19:22
 * into ten blocks most of them are

19:24
 * abandoned so I partied a little too hard

19:26
 * that night and I decided to crash on a

19:29
 * couch the loft we woke up at around 4:00

19:31
 * a.m. the Sun wasn't out yet but you

19:33
 * could still like make things out in the

19:34
 * dim blue light of the morning I went to

19:37
 * the bathroom

19:37
 * carefully tiptoeing around the people

19:39
 * that were passed out on the floor

19:41
 * as I was taking a piss I tiptoed a look

19:44
 * at the bathroom window and I saw the

19:45
 * panorama of deserted urban decay I

19:49
 * remembered how much I liked places like

19:51
 * this it was so dark and devoid of life

19:53
 * and strangely serene so we went back to

19:56
 * the couch and tried to fall asleep after

19:58 45 minutes of 19:59
 * staring at the ceiling I decided I

20:00
 * didn't want to be there any longer so I

20:02
 * swallowed my pride incited to wake my

20:04
 * girlfriend up to beg for a ride since

20:06
 * walking around the vacant streets at

20:08
 * this time was not an option being an

20:10
 * awesome girlfriend she was totally cool

20:11
 * with it

20:12
 * and told me she would and told me she

20:14
 * would be there in about a half hour and

20:16
 * that she would give me a call when she

20:17
 * was outside my phone dies 10 minutes

20:19
 * later so I decide I would sit by the

20:21
 * window and wit watch her car i sat there

20:24
 * for a while and my eyes started getting

20:26
 * heavy and I began to doze off a crashing

20:28
 * noise outside woke me up it wasn't loud

20:30
 * but just enough to snap me into reality

20:32
 * I looked out the window and scanned the

20:34
 * area but didn't see anything across the

20:37
 * street from the loft near a mountain of

20:38
 * garbage bags and one of these enormous

20:40
 * dumpsters I see a computer and a monitor

20:42
 * smashed against the floor that hadn't

20:45
 * been there before when my girlfriend

20:47
 * arrived I went downstairs and greeted

20:49
 * her just as I'm about to get in the car

20:51
 * I remembered a friend of mine who had

20:52
 * blown out his power supply so I decided

20:54
 * to walk over to the dumpster and see

20:56
 * what I could salvage the monitor was

20:58
 * worthless but the tower seemed it has

20:59
 * suffered almost no damage so I put it in

21:01
 * the trunk and we drove off about a week

21:04
 * had passed and I completely forgotten

21:05
 * about the tower until my girlfriend

21:07
 * calls to let me know that it was still

21:08
 * in the trunk and that she wanted it out

21:10
 * that night I brought it home before I

21:12
 * took it apart I decided to hook up but

21:14
 * to hook it up to my monitor to see if it

21:17
 * still ran to my surprise it did it ran

21:19
 * windows XP and it looked like it had

21:21
 * been wiped clean I guess out of morbid

21:23
 * curiosity I decided to do searches for

21:26
 * words like tits and pussy in hopes of

21:28
 * finding some secret stash full of weird

21:30
 * deviant porn the previous owner had

21:32
 * forgotten about search came up nothing

21:34
 * starts a picture files nothing then I

21:37
 * searched for movies and one file came up

21:39
 * it was an avi inside a folder titled

21:42
 * Barbie hidden in the windows system32

21:44
 * directory so I played it now this is

21:48
 * where it gets disturbing the movie was

21:51
 * been an hour long what seemed like raw

21:53
 * exported footage the footage was full of

21:57
 * this woman sitting in a chair and

21:58
 * talking against the white backdrop I

22:00
 * skipped through most of the movie and

22:02
 * was all the same continuous shot and

22:04
 * then I decided to sit through the

22:05
 * footage to find out what she was talking

22:07
 * about 15 seconds into the footage the

22:10
 * audio goes completely bad her voices

22:11
 * drowned in harsh

22:13
 * static background noise I couldn't make

22:15
 * out a thing

22:16
 * so I import the footage into Final Cut

22:18
 * and I try to mess with levels to isolate

22:21
 * her voice and helps a little but I still

22:23
 * couldn't hear what she was saying

22:25
 * who intrigued now and I'm going to

22:27
 * really pay attention to her face and

22:28
 * body language seems that she's being

22:30
 * asked some kind of questions because she

22:32
 * stops at time to listen and then

22:34
 * continues talking about 15 minutes into

22:36
 * the footage her face begins to redden

22:38
 * and contort as if the questions are

22:40
 * bothering her she continues to answer

22:42
 * them anyway

22:42
 * shortly after shortly after she begins

22:44
 * to cry she sobs hysterically for the

22:47
 * duration of the film one of the few

22:49
 * words I could lip-read was skin she

22:51
 * repeats this word many times throughout

22:53
 * the footage and at one point she even

22:55
 * pulls that the skin up from her arm and

22:57
 * mouths the word she seems to be unhappy

23:00
 * with her skin there is much more I have

23:02
 * to get off my chest but it but is

23:04
 * getting late and I can't go on I will

23:06
 * show the rest tomorrow

23:07
 * God saved my soul it kept on building

23:10
 * and building in about 40 minutes in she

23:12
 * was crying so hard that she could barely

23:14
 * look at the camera she stops to take she

23:16
 * stops talking at this point and the rest

23:18
 * of the footage is just her crying with

23:20
 * her head down oddly enough she doesn't

23:22
 * get up her move the screen just fades to

23:24
 * black I was fucking dumbfounded I played

23:28
 * the whole thing through many times that

23:30
 * night trying to find inflections and

23:32
 * nuances and her movement that would

23:33
 * reveal anything else about what was

23:35
 * going on

23:35
 * I felt so dissatisfied I wanted to know

23:38
 * more that's when I noticed there was

23:40
 * about 10 more minutes left on the

23:41
 * timeline after the screen went black and

23:43
 * about 2 minutes in there was more

23:45
 * footage the footage was extremely shaky

23:47
 * almost unwatchable and depicted a pair

23:50
 * of legs walking along train tracks my

23:52
 * guess is that the camera was

23:53
 * accidentally left on as it was being

23:55
 * carried somewhere the person in this

23:57
 * footage walks along the train tracks for

23:59
 * about 6 minutes and then turns into the

24:01
 * forest and walks over what looked like

24:03
 * foliage flattened by a piece of flat

24:05
 * plywood the person continues on this

24:07
 * makeshift plywood road until the movie

24:09
 * clip ends now my heart started beating

24:11
 * with excitement because they were train

24:13
 * tracks a few miles away that looked very

24:15
 * similar to the one in the video I had to

24:18
 * check this out I called up my friend

24:19
 * Ezra he's 6 foot 4 250 pounds mostly

24:22
 * muscle and convince him to go on a

24:23
 * little adventure with me

24:25
 * pushover myself but I thought if I was

24:27
 * to go wandering in the woods looking for

24:28
 * god-knows-what extra muscle couldn't

24:30
 * hurt this whole idea of investigating

24:31
 * was a video at me so excited I couldn't

24:33
 * sleep

24:34
 * this next morning on a sunny Saturday

24:37
 * I took my flashlight my camera my

24:39
 * seven-inch K bar with a matte black

24:41
 * finish serrated edge showing to pick up

24:43
 * Ezra when I got to his house he wasn't

24:46
 * even awake when I woke him up he was

24:47
 * pretty much told me to fuck off I was

24:49
 * already packed

24:50
 * I had mentally prepared myself to do

24:51
 * this so I decided to go through with it

24:53
 * without him

24:54
 * I parked my car at the train station

24:55
 * took my stuff and hopped under the

24:57
 * tracks after walking for about two hours

24:59
 * I saw a broken piece of plywood him and

25:01
 * needs almost buckled with excitement

25:03
 * I searched the nearby foliage and there

25:05
 * was a little plywood trail leading into

25:07
 * the forest I walked slowly around along

25:09
 * the trail paying close attention to

25:11
 * everything I would stop occasionally

25:13
 * kneel down and listen for for anything

25:15
 * or anyone but it was so quiet this was

25:18
 * this was one of the most nerve-wracking

25:20
 * things I've ever done I didn't know what

25:22
 * to expect at the end of this trail the

25:24
 * dense tree line gave way into a little

25:26
 * island of grassy field and when I saw it

25:27
 * how it's being consumed by the forest

25:30
 * and then I saw how it's been consumed by

25:32
 * the forest from the looks of it no one

25:35
 * had lived there for twenty maybe thirty

25:36
 * years I got my camera and snapped a few

25:39
 * pics a few yards away from the house was

25:41
 * a toolshed

25:42
 * made of rusty sheet metal I just sat

25:44
 * there among the trees for a while

25:46
 * absorbing everything I didn't want to go

25:49
 * into the open field I had this bad

25:51
 * feeling something would see me it took

25:53
 * me a while to muster the courage to go

25:54
 * up to the house the door was partly

25:56
 * opened I pushed it in with the

25:58
 * flashlight and was relieved the inside

26:00
 * was actually very well lit I put my

26:02
 * flashlight away got my camera and took a

26:04
 * few more pictures there was no furniture

26:06
 * the floor was riddled with bricks and

26:09
 * wood and rubble some of the walls had

26:11
 * huge holes in them when I went in

26:13
 * further to explore I saw some things

26:15
 * that I didn't much mind to in the moment

26:17
 * but now that I think about him in

26:19
 * hindsight greatly disturbed me the first

26:22
 * thing that seemed a little odd was at

26:24
 * one of the doors in the first room that

26:26
 * I presume led to the basement seemed a

26:27
 * little too new to be in this house and

26:30
 * that it was also the only door in the

26:31
 * house that was locked also I made my way

26:35
 * up to the second floor I saw some chairs

26:37
 * and fold up table that also seemed to

26:39
 * little too new to be there but what

26:41
 * disturbed me the most for some reason

26:43
 * was the bathroom the dust on the mirror

26:46
 * had been wiped away in the bathtub

26:48
 * that's a clear plastic tarp that still

26:52
 * had water droplets on it from what I

26:53
 * presume it was washed clean that's when

26:58
 * I heard something moan really loud and

27:01
 * that's when I jumped the fuck out of the

27:02
 * second-story window on ran back to the

27:04
 * tracks halfway there I realized that

27:07
 * moaning was likely a water pipe

27:09
 * expanding or contracting the little

27:11
 * moment of relief gave into the horror

27:12
 * which I felt when I wondered why the

27:14
 * water would be running on an abandoned

27:17
 * house in the middle of the fucking woods

27:19
 * it's been a little more than two months

27:21
 * since that happened and I haven't gone

27:22
 * back there nor do I plan to Barbie

27:27
 * Barbie a bi man we used to have a house

27:31
 * like that when I was growing up

27:32
 * oh yeah murders out here yeah it was

27:34
 * just the middle of woods with nothing at

27:35
 * it um granted I don't think a woman was

27:38
 * murdered in the bathtub

27:40
 * yeah we had a house that was a like a

27:42
 * haunted house like there was all kinds

27:44
 * of crazy stories about it and a friend

27:46
 * of mine found a cassette tape in which

27:48
 * an old man was just reciting mary had a

27:51
 * little lamb over and over again and we

27:53
 * get progressively angry angrier and then

27:56
 * calm down and angry and calm down so

27:58
 * what are you tell so what do you think

28:00
 * this guy filmed this chick and then took

28:03
 * her into the woods and murdered her and

28:04
 * cut off her skin and wore it who knows

28:07
 * or it's like just the beginning of any

28:09
 * sort of a snuff film oh yeah that's a

28:14
 * good point

28:15
 * you know can then it was started off as

28:17
 * an interview they tricked her that it

28:18
 * was an interview and then they just

28:20
 * murdered her oh my god yeah all she was

28:22
 * talking to was her skin I talk about

28:24
 * that too all the time I was always I was

28:26
 * thought like you know two girls one cups

28:28
 * fake but I was like if you if this was

28:32
 * real though those girls are dead this

28:36
 * was actually happening then they were

28:38
 * murdered at some point yeah uh and I'm I

28:42
 * am dead certain that there there is some

28:45
 * pretty twisted stuff that happens that

28:47
 * is on the internet that is real I'm as

28:50
 * well thing yeah there's got to be tons

28:52
 * of it

28:53
 * I'll tell you one thing what's on the

28:55
 * internet it's twisted last podcast on

28:57
 * the left that's yeah I'm sure yeah and

28:59
 * if they're good and scared of us ruined

29:00
 * your night

29:01 [Laughter] 29:04
 * alright everybody well I think that's

29:06
 * gonna wrap up this episode of fun of

29:08
 * storytelling today yeah time I want to

29:11
 * do this more often let's get into little

29:12
 * groups and just hang out that's the

29:14
 * stateís to each other and tweet cave

29:16
 * comedy radio let us know if you have any

29:18
 * any links to some horrific stories or if

29:21
 * you have a story of your own please

29:22
 * email cave comedy radio at gmail right

29:24
 * yeah hit comedy radio Gmail if you want

29:27
 * to email your your scary spooky stories

29:29
 * please do that please love to read them

29:31
 * on air yeah cuz we'd love to get creeped

29:33
 * out ourselves

29:34
 * absolutely that's what it's all about

29:35
 * alright guys thanks so much for

29:36
 * listening we'll talk to you soon

29:38
 * jiggy jiggy jiggy jiggy translations

29:42
 * Magoo solutions I've been doing the

29:44
 * subway ads all day yeah my Subway's new

29:46
 * spicy chicken sandwich

29:47
 * makes it footlong megusta lations Magoo

29:50
 * still Asians megusta lations

29:52
 * Campbell you guys are still on that one

29:53
 * I'm not getting off that you knew once

29:56
 * in yeah since I'm not scared anymore

29:58
 * yeah that's the thing

29:59
 * trés subway eat fresh eat fresh there

30:03
 * that's good we're in again fucking sued

30:04
 * by quiet

30:05
 * Jarrod oh we're gonna come get us man to

30:08
 * chase after us we fucking killed still

30:10
 * laugh at our the way I know he sucks

30:12
 * Jarrod needs to be in a snuff film

30:14
 * yeah you do your ad campaign we're just

30:17
 * gonna need your skin to be worn by

30:18
 * another person yes you're a dreadful

30:20
 * beast of a man and I know Jared for a

30:22
 * fact huge diva he came to my University

30:25
 * gave a speech would you believe it he

30:27
 * demanded like a buffet of food now that

30:30
 * was somewhat none of it was some scary

30:31
 * story yet the scary story goodbye