The following is a transcript of Episode 10: Live at the Cave Comedy Radio Launch Party! by The Last Podcast On The Left.
This transcript was based on text automatically generated via YouTube's closed captioning system. If you notice any errors, please feel free to correct them.
Transcript[]
00:00
- yeah devastating for young boy no look
00:03
- like the Pillsbury Doughboy until I was
00:05
- seven and then I got back hair yeah
00:08
- that's good oh my god this gets me home
00:25
- so much faster at night when I've
00:26
- listened to that song on my ipod because
00:27
- I just run from the shadows to light
00:29
- what the you ki is the creepiest the
00:31
- gucci is podcast
00:33
- this is Bugan vodka the last podcast on
00:36
- the left is Marcus Parks I'm Ben Kissel
00:37
- with co-host is always sir Henry
00:40
- Zebrowski and today there he is I'll
00:44
- tell you I just did the best luck with
00:46
- working with big breasted co-hosts
00:48
- Sansa's right you are amazing my friend
00:51
- who who's more alluring to sit next to
00:53
- though you are because I feel like I
00:55
- could actually have sex with you enjoy
00:57
- right you don't have a chance with Sara
00:59
- a beard I'm point though you and I
01:01
- that's the thing I have a dress that I
01:03
- don't want that I can only have sex with
01:05
- boys speaking of having sex with boys
01:07
- today we're talking about the very
01:09
- lovely the very curvaceous big-busted
01:11
- divine looking John Wayne Gacy yeah now
01:15
- the thing about John Wayne Gacy's he's a
01:16
- junior like me exactly his father saying
01:20
- about Wayne Gacy jr. his father used to
01:22
- call him assist II used to call him dumb
01:24
- used to call him stupid that's what he
01:25
- did everything that he did
01:26
- and he proved his father completely kind
01:28
- of right but also wrong yeah which is
01:31
- nice I'll tell you what a difference one
01:32
- name makes John Wayne Oh sounds like an
01:35
- American who's an actor I like that guy
01:37
- yeah the westerns and the guns John
01:39
- Wayne Gacy oh it's kind of American hero
01:42
- I like that guy with the torture in the
01:43
- kid absolutely it's 22 kids mmm he
01:46
- killed 22 kids and I say if you've ever
01:49
- been in a New York City Subway I want to
01:51
- thank you John Wayne Gacy yes I'm
01:53
- wishing off York City my friend clean up
01:56
- some of these kids I might John Wayne
01:59
- Casey's my my favorite serial killer if
02:02
- you're gonna choose one right well I
02:04
- think I feel like you're using that for
02:05
- selfish reasons because he's the only
02:06
- one that you could play on television
02:08
- absolutely
02:09
- I am if there was a biopic I will win an
02:12
- Oscar playing John Dacey's ha kids ha
02:16
- come closer Oh mom can I have some candy
02:19
- yeah you can
02:20
- hey fantastic I didn't die I didn't
02:24
- expect a torture rack but this ain't bad
02:25
- well I made the torture rack so I hope
02:27
- you appreciate it this torture rack took
02:29
- me three hours I watch it on this old
02:30
- house show some respect
02:33
- he had a torture rack so it fucked up I
02:35
- mean he's John Wayne Gacy everything
02:37
- that he did is fucked up but at the very
02:39
- least it's organized it's nice it's in
02:40
- his basement it's like you know when you
02:43
- go to John Wayne Casey's house you have
02:44
- a place to sleep
02:45
- absolutely under his house under his
02:48
- house for the eternal rest but he got
02:51
- the children by being one of the
02:52
- funniest kookiest clowns around ho ho
02:55
- the clown yeah what a fun clown he was
02:58
- if there is just a way to ruin clowns
03:00
- harder it's dress up as a clown and kill
03:03 22 boys well that's the thing that was 03:05
- the beginning of the end I think I I
03:07
- will say this though John Wayne Gacy is
03:09
- only the second worst clown of all time
03:11
- the first worst clown is an Uncle Buck
03:14
- with the name of the asshole deal No
03:18
- Deal Howie Mandel yeah Howie Mandel you
03:20
- were a worse clown I did like your mouth
03:22
- mobile uh then John Wayne Gacy I'd bet
03:24
- you $5 at Howie Mandel's at least killed
03:26
- one girl oh of course he's killed a girl
03:28
- right he's a millionaire it's called
03:31
- dating Hannigan Deal or No Deal you know
03:33
- when one doesn't show up she's in Howie
03:35
- Mandel's a fucking torture president on
03:37
- a torture rack I'll tell you one thing
03:39
- any girl that dated that's not all right
03:42
- I don't want to talk too much about the
03:43
- very very talented Howie Mandel because
03:45
- if he's listening to this but how he
03:47
- does will of a god send us some money
03:49
- just retire and give us shit not kill
03:52
- any girls you suck and if you did kill a
03:54
- woman I hope it was one laughing at you
03:56
- because funny that's right you made a
03:59
- career doing magic tricks that were
04:01
- terrible speaking of magic tricks that's
04:03
- what John Wayne Gacy did as a clown and
04:05
- I want to say John Wayne Gacy taking a
04:07
- clown to this universe of horror it's
04:09
- similar to like if you would see a movie
04:11
- about an uncle and that uncle was just
04:13
- super nice and never touched a chai a
04:17
- biscuit Li out of character for an uncle
04:19
- I'm an uncle and sometimes I get afraid
04:22
- that I'm just gonna
04:23
- one of those molesty ones just because
04:25
- I'm one because I'm an uncle that's the
04:27
- thing I mean you've got to do it and
04:29
- it's not like they're growing into
04:31
- babies no they are growing into women
04:33
- uncle's like to ruin kids
04:36
- why wouldn't they they obviously don't
04:37
- have any of their own and they hate
04:39
- their brother or sister absolutely he's
04:41
- just trying to create chaos so did John
04:43
- Wayne okay John Wayne Gacy so he ran a
04:45
- construction company the thing about
04:47
- John Wayne Gacy is that he was arrested
04:49
- before yes he had he had a construction
04:52
- company he was a young man he was like
04:53 20 to 23 in his first marriage yes a 04:55
- very hard worker model prisoner as well
04:58
- he was uh was he really was he got
05:01
- arrested on the charge of raping two
05:04
- young boys when they served they gave
05:06
- him a 10-year sentence he then it was a
05:08
- model prisoner that shows what an
05:09
- amazing criminal he was where it's like
05:12
- well he was a I mean it's hard to in
05:14
- Chicago by the way so we all started
05:16
- this so we got ten years in prison and
05:18
- he only ended up serving eighteen two
05:20
- months they had him they had him in a
05:22
- fucking concrete square where you belong
05:24
- but the he was such a good prisoner and
05:27
- he became the ECAM an advocate for
05:29
- prisoners rights and got them all arrays
05:31
- at their jobs they're inside prison jobs
05:33
- there's um he was a born politician he
05:36
- was a charged in his uh was it sort of
05:38
- like a Veterans Association the JC's I
05:40
- mean that's the thing and if he was
05:41
- around nowadays this this political
05:43
- scandal pales in comparison to the ones
05:45
- that are happening in our world right
05:46
- now yeah because the JC's back in the
05:48
- money before he was first arrested they
05:50
- had like this sex club him and all these
05:52
- old white men used to get together and
05:54
- they used to create porns and swap wives
05:56
- and do all this stuff yeah the crazy
05:58
- drug stuff and rape boys together is how
06:01
- they learned how to do that or practice
06:02
- and then he went to jail and he became a
06:04
- model prisoner and then got out and then
06:06
- you know I would imagine in jail he's
06:08
- surrounded by grown men where is the
06:10
- temptation there none you know he was
06:12
- just like I I don't even know how to be
06:14
- bad here absolutely I mean when you're a
06:16
- young boy and if you're fat you have
06:18
- breasts and you don't have any pubic
06:20
- hair or a chest that's much like you
06:22
- were born a woman that is my life and
06:24
- that's why I understand where he's
06:25
- coming from and I think that's why he's
06:26
- our favorite because we both were very
06:28
- fat yeah large bosoms no pubic hair to
06:31
- show for it's not at all for a while
06:33
- devastating yeah
06:34
- devastating for young boy no look like
06:37
- the Pillsbury Doughboy until I was seven
06:39
- and then I got back hair yeah that's
06:42
- good that is true what is that dough
06:48
- that is for sir hey mom where'd you get
06:54
- the dough for this friend Henry he's so
06:58
- nice he's a great buddy
07:00
- so yes so he ran a construction company
07:02
- and this is where he started to run in
07:04
- to young boys all around as a matter of
07:06
- fact in today's economy
07:07
- he might be wanted because he hired a
07:10
- whole series of fifteen-year-old
07:11
- sixteen-year-old boys to help him with
07:13
- construction making jobs yeah absolutely
07:16
- wrote the economy high turnover rates
07:18
- yeah you know yeah Austin Lee because
07:20
- half of them ended up at a crawlspace in
07:22
- his basement the thing was it's oh yeah
07:24
- so he got out of jail after serving 18
07:26
- months he glib he lived with his mother
07:28
- who loved him so much
07:30
- she was a sweet but I bet there was a
07:32
- little bit alike I love you your daddy
07:34
- let's be daddy for tonight because I'm
07:36
- he was pretty Buse pretty fucked up yeah
07:38
- I'm sure
07:39
- so Ethan made a new life for himself and
07:40
- met a new wife what she must have been a
07:43
- lover she must've been really fun to be
07:45
- with well uh yes yeah then of course he
07:47
- confessed to being gay with this gal
07:48
- right yeah and they didn't have sex
07:50
- anymore so then he could just start
07:51
- having sex which I'm gonna say and I'm
07:53
- gonna speak for every woman in the world
07:55
- dream come true yeah every single woman
07:58
- just wishes their husband was a closeted
08:00
- gay so they could just agree not to
08:01
- touch each other
08:02
- Exeter with marriage does yeah I am so
08:06
- sick of just can I may I please please
08:08
- please please please and that's just to
08:13
- get the remote other thing and then she
08:15
- she then have finally divorced him and
08:18
- so he had the house to himself and it
08:20
- was like the whole house I imagine he
08:21
- had a moment that risky business moment
08:22
- where is a dark mansion
08:24
- tanana and like it was having a good
08:26
- time yeah I myself and then he went on a
08:28
- massive killing spree just had the time
08:30
- of his life
08:30
- really the peak of his career if we're
08:32
- talking Jordan we're talking 93 to 96 my
08:35
- friend did not have to rely on the
08:36
- fadeaway 70 us dunks yeah
08:39
- dunks missing a free-throw dunk you
08:41
- tried to get away I still got your ass
08:43
- absolutely because I'm bigger than you
08:44
- and you fat and I somehow con you into
08:47
- coming over
08:48
- my house and getting you drunk because
08:49
- you're working for me my construction
08:50
- firm we just took there was a thing and
08:53
- he would have his construction firm so
08:54
- he started the construction firm and he
08:55
- would have the kids who were working for
08:58
- him dig trenches for him underneath his
09:00
- own house you're essentially digging
09:02
- their own grave yeah yeah and then like
09:04
- they retrofitted his whole house to be a
09:06
- fucking mausoleum and so when they
09:08
- caught on to him I didn't feel like this
09:10
- is close to being the tall man from
09:12
- phantasm a little bit just had a silver
09:15
- ball that drained people's brain blood
09:17
- but he's just be about it he's so much
09:19
- scarier because he's so much more real
09:21
- and it can happen again it's probably
09:22
- happening right now oh my god there was
09:24
- a child right now having the time of his
09:27
- life you never know what they're into
09:28
- these days that's right you got Twitter
09:30
- and all this stuff kids are getting tied
09:32
- to torture racks all the time so we said
09:34
- finally very controversial thing about
09:36
- Gacy Williams in prison he painted a
09:37
- whole series of fantastic pictures about
09:39
- Pogo the clown and Henry you are four
09:41
- and I am against I don't think that
09:43
- people should necessarily buy the
09:45
- pictures because a killer made them
09:47
- although I knew I do understand all
09:48
- artists are crazy but van Gogh never
09:51
- painted a picture of that ear that he
09:52
- suffered I I would really like to own
09:55
- one they are creepy as fuck they have
09:57
- this one painting that I really wanted
09:59
- to buy is on eBay and it's a painting
10:01
- John Wayne Gacy pin into the clown
10:02
- looking into a mirror and in the mirror
10:05
- is this skull face yeah
10:07
- looking back at him which is really
10:08
- interesting but it's like I it's just
10:10
- hard to say yourself every time I mean
10:13
- absolutely look at me I um I think I'm
10:16
- having a thin day oh this is nice look
10:19
- at that
10:19
- i Henry how are you that's my skull
10:22
- voice all right III are you doing fine -
10:25
- a burns when I cut my throat
10:27
- but the the money would go to sort of
10:30
- victims associations which is a big like
10:32
- fucked up thing I was also reading about
10:33
- how people used to bias paintings and
10:35
- have group burnings of them they are the
10:37
- victims of the various victims families
10:39
- would get together buy off his paintings
10:41
- the money would go to their charities
10:43
- for the various moves that the fans in
10:45
- Cleveland overreacted just a little bit
10:48
- when they burn all of LeBron James
10:51
- that doesn't quite equate to killing 33
10:54
- wait to go to is 35 million dollar Miami
10:57
- fucking mansion I can't wait oh my god
10:59
- great if serial killers could join a
11:01
- league in Gacy was just like I'm gonna
11:02
- take my talents to South South Beach
11:05
- yeah the whole show all right well we
11:07
- got to wrap up this 10 minute episode of
11:09
- last podcast on the left we'll talk guys
11:11
- Thank You Margot forward to it thank you
11:16
- [Music]